Feeling lonely
Hello. I am new to this group and want to know how other people are dealing with feeling lonely. I am only 10 with 2 older siblings supporting me and I sometimes feel bad for constantly relying on them. 1 lives at home but tried to be out as much as possible to get away from the drama. I have lots of support from school and social services but it’s in the evenings when my mum falls asleep early and wakes up confused when I feel the most lonely. Its nice to know other people are going though the same I hope we can all help and support each other
Hello penelopy,
Thank you for sharing this here. Writing about it and posting it can take courage – how did it feel to put it into words?
I am really sorry to hear about your mum and how it’s affecting you. Feeling lonely in that situation makes sense, and many people in similar situations say they feel the same way.
Talking about it is one way of looking after yourself.
Have you heard of the 6 C’s? It can be quite helpful to remember when things feel overwhelming or confusing:
I didn’t cause it
I can’t control it
I can’t cure it
I can take care of myself
I can communicate my feelings
I can make healthy choices
It’s good that you have your siblings you can talk to. You don’t need to feel bad about talking to them, it’s okay to lean on people who care about you.
You mentioned having support from school and social services. If evenings are hardest, you could let them know that too — they might be able to help you think about what would make that time easier.
Sometimes having something to focus on in the evening can help a little. Such as drawing or listening to music. Are there any activities you enjoy?
It’s good you found this space and you reached out. Please continue reaching out here, simply just to talk or to get things off your chest. You matter here.
If you ever want to talk to someone, you can contact the Nacoa helpline as they will listen and never judge and truly understand. The helpline is opened Monday to Saturday 10-7pm and there is an online chat option on Tuesday and Thursday (12-5).
You are not alone,
Listener
Hello Penelope, your message really touched me. It is such a lonely place being the child of an alcoholic as you feel other children in other families just don't have that experience. I know being the youngest is extra difficult as you are stuck at home. If it makes you feel any better there are lots of children of all ages (adults too) who can relate to your feelings - it's 1 in 5 children who live with a problem drinker. It's so positive that you got in touch with our community - I hope that makes you feel a little less alone. All I can suggest is that you get in touch with NACOA calling the helpline and look at the website for personal stories. In the lonely evenings can you do some things for yourself that you enjoy - maybe some crafts, reading, watching your favourite TV, join some clubs at or outside school if you can - that really helped me. In a few years you, too, can be out and about making your own life happen. But in the meantime - take care of yourself & do some things that you enjoy even if it's as little as making some toast to cheer up (that used to make me happy in some bleak times & still does!). & Keep in touch with our community, we want to hear from you. X
Hi Penelopy
It's really brave of you to share your feelings and I'm so glad you found the safe space of the message boards at Nacoa. Hopefully, the replies have offered some support and made you feel a little less alone.
Don't worry about relying on your older siblings. I would imagine they're only too glad to be of some support and comfort to you. I had one sibling who was 15 years younger than me and I so watched out for him. He's now living his best life in Thailand and we have a really good relationship despite the distance.
None of this is your fault and it's not your responsibility to solve. You matter too so try and look after yourself. Please be kind to yourself and engage in some activities that you enjoy. Spending time with friends is important and can help. Must admit, the toast suggestion sounded good. Favourite shows can be comforting too.
Please keep in touch and let us know how everything's going.