Alcohol Abuse Mother
Hi all, this is my first time posting here and feel a bit nervous about it. My mother has a really bad drinking problem. She drinks all the time hiding booze around her house. My father is too stupid to realise what she is doing.
I’ve tried to talk to her about this, but she won’t listen. She lies all the time…
Some days she doesn’t make any sense or collapses into the walls. It’s embarrassing and selfish. She is unbearable to be around.
She suffers from bad depression. She won’t seek any help.
Unfortunately I’m in a bad position where I lost my job, and I’ve temporarily moved in with them. It’s so bad. I often just get out of the house for the whole day to try and keep sane.
It’s horrible trying to figure out my life while dealing with this. I don’t trust her opinion at all. She has messed up so many times throughout my life because of the drink.
I suffer from low moods too, but I absolutely do not drink. Mainly because I see her behaviour.
She’s going to make herself really ill if she continues drinking.
All of this makes me feel angry, vulnerable, depressed and having no control over the situation. Some days I just get so upset. I’m trying to stay balanced the best I can though.
Just a crazy time in my life where I’m struggling to find the right path for me. I try to keep perspective by focusing on my life, my energy and what I can and cannot control.
Thanks for reading. I hope people here can relate. I imagine some of you are going through bad or worse situations.
Hi checkeredthistle,
It's so positive that you are reaching out on these message boards. It's understandable that it is nerve-racking, as you are sharing something very personal and often not spoken about. But you have taken a really positive step by doing so.
Well done for sharing what you are going through; I can hear how much your mother's drinking is impacting you. Losing your job and having to move back in with your parents must be incredibly difficult, as you are back living within this very difficult situation. That's so hard to come back into after not being there for a while.
You are doing so well to try and stay focused on your own life; shifting that focus back onto yourself is really important. As you already mentioned, you cannot control your mum's drinking or behaviour, but you do have power over your own life. Doing things like getting out of the house is helpful, as it allows you to escape for a while. Do you have ideas about what you would like your life to look like, and what might be the next steps towards that?
The 6C's may help, for when you are struggling to stay focused. They are really important messages to remember:
I didn’t cause it
I can’t control it
I can’t cure it
I can take care of myself
I can communicate my feelings
I can make healthy choices
Do you have any support around you at the moment? These situations can be so isolating. Are you able to talk to anyone close to you about how you feel? Please know that the Nacoa helpline is there for you, and keep reaching out on these message boards too if that is helpful.
Take good care,
Listener