Hi everyone,

This last week following mother’s day I realised that I just couldn’t watch my mum get drunk anymore and sadly I don’t think I’ve ever been able to be myself around her. I’ve been trying to do reduced contact for years and it’s still having a significant impact on my life even when I’m not seeing her.
I just can’t put myself in a situation where I loose more of myself every day, I can be doing just every day tasks and a wave of anger will hit me. Reminding me I’m not free of watching her get drunk as it’s in my mind and trapped in my body . It’s so draining, an indescribable exhaustion.

All the above being said I have blocked my mum and feel a sense of peace and shame. It’s the best choice I could possibly make right now .

Im worried that my grandad won’t want to respect my descion to cut contact with my mum . He’s well aware of her addiction and has said to me in the past ‘ can’t you say something to her to yet her to stop’ which I have told him its her choice not mine.

Honestly I want to cut him out too as I feel he’s just as narcissistic, doesn’t really want to hear me and only wants to talk about himself. I just don’t want to cut too many family members out at once .

Has anyone dealt with a similar situation?
Thanks for reading