Explaining alcoholism to children

Replies
4
Voices
4
Freshness
Followers

2

ef5

Hi there, I have a 5 year old and a 3.5 year old. Their dad is an alcoholic and is not in contact. I have told the children that daddy is in hospital but now they need more information from me and I am unsure what to say. How do you explain alcoholism to a child? They are saying why is it taking him so long to get better, when is he coming home (I will filing for divorce) . Any help on how to explain addiction to them would be so helpful.

  • sparklecoordinator

    Hi this is really tough especially when there so young. Sesame Street do some lovely videos that help with things like this.https://sesameworkshop.org/topics/parental-addiction/ and have other videos etc.

    Nacoa helpline will be able to help you for sure with some further resources.

  • listener

    Hi ef5,

    It is completely understandable that you're a little unsure what to say, as adults we understand addiction, and the pull it has on people, and roughly how it changes people. To children though, espeically around those ages, addiction is hard to wrap their heads around. As you mention they ask about getting better almost as if it's a bacterial illness, that dad will recover from it like it's a cold or the flu, waiting for his body to just get rid of it.

    As you're filing for divorce as well I assume you're probably somewhat concerned on how to portray the severity of the situation.

    Luckily we've got a wide range of publications that explain some of these topics in good detail.

    "Some mums and dads"
    https://nacoa.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/Some-mums-and-dads-drink-too-much.pdf

    "Jasper's Wish"
    https://nacoa.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2020/11/Jaspers-Wish.pdf

    "Alcohol the Family Illness"
    https://nacoa.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2020/11/Alcohol-the-Family-Illness.pdf

    I hope some of these help in coming up with a way to explain the problem as best as possible to them, in a way that's understandable from a young child's point of view.

    Regards,

    Listener

  • catswithbells

    Hi, I don't have any specific advice as to how to explain their dad's alcoholism to your children but I wanted to say that it's great that you are planning to talk to them about it from a young age. As a young child under 10 with an alcoholic dad I remember some scary and mysterious incidents that were never explained - it would have helped me if they had been. But on the other hand my mother was and still is careful not to heavily criticise my Dad which gave me the chance to form my own views and still retain some love for him despite how badly he behaved. I hope those two thoughts help. Your children are lucky to have you as a Mum looking out for them. Take care.x

Leave a Reply

Recent topics

  • Exasperated Son
    Hi, not sure where to start and thinking I’ll need 1000+ pages to convey all that’s going on and how it’s making me feel. I’m…
  • Father starting to recover but it’s not enough
    My father has been an alcoholic most of my life and is finally starting to attempt recovery, but it feels like too little too late.…
  • Explaining alcoholism to children
    Hi there, I have a 5 year old and a 3.5 year old. Their dad is an alcoholic and is not in contact. I have…
  • Endless cycle
    I genuinely dont see how my mum will ever get sober, today started off ok and then we went out to lunch, she said she…
  • Like a ton of bricks
    Hey everyone, I'm around the five month mark of no contact with my mum. All week I've felt so tearful and exhausted on the brink…

Recent replies

  • Hey, I'm really sorry to hear what’s been going on with your dad, and I’m so sorry for the loss of your mum. That must…
    hopeyhope1 on Exasperated Son
  • Thank you for sharing. You are definitely in the right place! As a fellow COA, with a Dad who destroyed his life with drink, I…
    catswithbells on Exasperated Son
  • How are you katy996? I read your post and felt so sad about your need for a friendly shoulder to lean on which was rejected…
    arvide on Like a ton of bricks
  • Hi thebigdipper, That's understandable why you think and feel that way, on the one hand it's good that your dad is seemingly attempting a recovery…
    listener on Father starting to recover but it’s not enough
  • Hi, I don't have any specific advice as to how to explain their dad's alcoholism to your children but I wanted to say that it's…
    catswithbells on Explaining alcoholism to children

Keep in touch

To find out more about our events and activities, subscribe to our mailing list

We use Mailchimp as our marketing platform. By subscribing, you acknowledge that your information will be transferred to Mailchimp for processing. Learn more about Mailchimp’s privacy practices.