Explaining alcoholism to children
Hi there, I have a 5 year old and a 3.5 year old. Their dad is an alcoholic and is not in contact. I have told the children that daddy is in hospital but now they need more information from me and I am unsure what to say. How do you explain alcoholism to a child? They are saying why is it taking him so long to get better, when is he coming home (I will filing for divorce) . Any help on how to explain addiction to them would be so helpful.
Hi this is really tough especially when there so young. Sesame Street do some lovely videos that help with things like this.https://sesameworkshop.org/topics/parental-addiction/ and have other videos etc.
Nacoa helpline will be able to help you for sure with some further resources.
Thank so much
Hi ef5,
It is completely understandable that you're a little unsure what to say, as adults we understand addiction, and the pull it has on people, and roughly how it changes people. To children though, espeically around those ages, addiction is hard to wrap their heads around. As you mention they ask about getting better almost as if it's a bacterial illness, that dad will recover from it like it's a cold or the flu, waiting for his body to just get rid of it.
As you're filing for divorce as well I assume you're probably somewhat concerned on how to portray the severity of the situation.
Luckily we've got a wide range of publications that explain some of these topics in good detail.
"Some mums and dads"
https://nacoa.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/Some-mums-and-dads-drink-too-much.pdf
"Jasper's Wish"
https://nacoa.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2020/11/Jaspers-Wish.pdf
"Alcohol the Family Illness"
https://nacoa.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2020/11/Alcohol-the-Family-Illness.pdf
I hope some of these help in coming up with a way to explain the problem as best as possible to them, in a way that's understandable from a young child's point of view.
Regards,
Listener
I recently called the helpline and they suggested rather than one big chat to have a few several smaller chats to plant the seed and yesterday I could t believe when my child came out with how the Alcoholic in our life was stupid and drinks wine! They said they didn't wish to see that person and only wanted to communicate on the phone which was interesting as they've come to understand in such a short space of time. They're much smarter than we think they are. Good luck
Hi, I don't have any specific advice as to how to explain their dad's alcoholism to your children but I wanted to say that it's great that you are planning to talk to them about it from a young age. As a young child under 10 with an alcoholic dad I remember some scary and mysterious incidents that were never explained - it would have helped me if they had been. But on the other hand my mother was and still is careful not to heavily criticise my Dad which gave me the chance to form my own views and still retain some love for him despite how badly he behaved. I hope those two thoughts help. Your children are lucky to have you as a Mum looking out for them. Take care.x