Trapped

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penelopy

Hi everyone
This isn’t a new thing I have just been struggling a bit more with it lately. When ever I get home from school I never really go anywhere because my mum is usually already drunk so I just sit in my room and it’s really hard. i do things that I enjoy but I just feel trapped and I want to get out and stay somewhere else because of everything that has happened there all the times I’ve been shouted at and been upset. My dad also works away so he is rarely home and even when he is home she is the same. It’s like a never ending cycle I can’t get out of. Just wanted to know if anyone else was feeling the same.
Byeee

  • daisychain

    Hi Penelope,
    I’m glad you posted here, it’s good to share when you’re struggling and it can help you to feel less alone. I know others will relate to what you’ve said.
    It sounds really hard for this not to be a new thing, and to have been experiencing it for a while. It sounds really hard too to feel you’re trapped in a space which reminds you of all the times you’ve been shouted at and felt upset in. It can be common, when living with a parent who drinks, to feel trapped in our parents cycles. I hope you can know though that things can change, and you’re already changing them just in sharing what’s on your mind with this.
    What kind of things do you enjoy doing when you’re in your room? It sounds like you’ve had to really think about what could help already.
    Are there any after school activities offered near you that you’d like to join, if you could? Or any clubs that friends go to that sound like fun? It might be, with some support, that a friend teacher or support worker could help you in attending.
    Sometimes, when we live with a parent who drinks, our whole lives can start to feel tangled up around that parent and their drinking. It’s so important that you can know you can have your own life, separate from mums drinking. You’re allowed to want things and it’s really brave when you’re able to tell someone those things.
    You can always call Nacoa after school too if you’re feeling alone or just want someone to sit in your room with you. They understand, won’t judge and can be a safe space for you. You’re not alone.
    Thank you again for sharing! I’m really glad that you did.

  • listener

    Hello there,
    I am sorry to hear that you have been struggling a bit more lately. It sounds really hard having to return home every day and feeling trapped. Home should not feel like that. Do you have friends or other family members that you can spend time with sometimes in the evening or stay over? Even having a change like that every now and then can help.
    Talking to someone else really helps and letting them know how you feel and what your wishes are, such as about wanting to stay somewhere else. You deserve to be listened and heard.
    Sorry to hear about your father not being home much and that when he is things don’t seem to change. That must be very frustrating. Do you speak with him when he is away?
    The never-ending cycle is very common and other children with parents that drink too much go through this. You are not alone and you can always come back to this space to talk and let things of your chest. You can also call Nacoa if you ever want to speak with someone.
    Take care!

  • butterfly583

    Hey just wanted to say thanks for sharing, it is very brave of you.

    I have been reading your other posts and noticed the titles - trapped, anger, lonely. You sound like you are dealing with so much. My only advice is keep talking to people you trust including to your older siblings. Don’t ever feel like you are bothering them or relying on them too much. Maybe there is a way you can do something with each of them a couple of nights a week so that you are not stuck at home with your Mum all week. Are you able to talk to your Dad about how you feel?

    The other advice I have is to journal or keep a diary about things your Mum does and how you feel about them it can be a good thing to do each night when you are feeling a bit lonely, take your thoughts and feelings and write them down just like you have done sharing here.

    If you ever want to talk, the helpline at Nacoa is always good to ring if you want someone to listen. Remember none of this is your fault. Take care of yourself 😊

  • kayvee

    Hi. I know sometimes it can be a post and run situation but I hope you do get to read the replies and reach out.

    I totally felt your post! My mother drank and it was horrid feeling trapped in your room with your brain and body on full alert trying to work out safest way to face them if it happened. My father worked away too.
    Do you have siblings?
    And is she nasty when drunk? Or neglectful and you are on your own?

    I really remember how hard the teenage years were. I’m here to chat x

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