I wanted people to understand, to know what I was going through, but no one understands unless they’ve experienced it themselves and I was too messed up to let people get close.
I wanted people to understand, to know what I was going through, but no one understands unless they’ve experienced it themselves and I was too messed up to let people get close.
I have had the courage to heal the sickness inside me. To rid myself of the shame and blame and guilt that was never mine anyway.
I have had the courage to heal the sickness inside me. To rid myself of the shame and blame and guilt that was never mine anyway.
There was a silence filled with clanging feelings of humiliation and doubt and fear.
There was a silence filled with clanging feelings of humiliation and doubt and fear.
But you will keep the secret to yourself that isn’t even a secret.. You don’t talk about it, you don’t talk about yourself, you don’t talk about your family, you keep your hopes and dreams to yourself but you don’t know why.
But you will keep the secret to yourself that isn’t even a secret.. You don’t talk about it, you don’t talk about yourself, you don’t talk about your family, you keep your hopes and dreams to yourself but you don’t know why.
I am haunted by the idea that the telling of these dark truths is an unwarranted betrayal of my mother.
I am haunted by the idea that the telling of these dark truths is an unwarranted betrayal of my mother.
I remember I used to find empty drink bottles, hidden in the garage.
I remember I used to find empty drink bottles, hidden in the garage.
“I love/hate you”, “I’m proud of you” / “ What the hell are you doing with your life?
“I love/hate you”, “I’m proud of you” / “ What the hell are you doing with your life?
Me and my brother were placed together and we had an amazing foster mum.
Me and my brother were placed together and we had an amazing foster mum.
What I don’t ever do though is say out loud, mum you’re drinking too much, have you thought about stopping.
What I don’t ever do though is say out loud, mum you’re drinking too much, have you thought about stopping.
The shame when your father turns up drunk to your school prize giving where you are getting a prize.
The shame when your father turns up drunk to your school prize giving where you are getting a prize.
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