Counselling
Has anybody benefitted from talking to a counsellor? Do you find they struggle to understand why this affects you in adult life? That’s been my experience so far..
Can anybody recommend a good counsellor/ ways to find a good one? So far, my search has been unsuccessful and can feel like it causes more harm than good.
Hi,
I had consulling a few years ago for another issue which when we got to the bottom of it, I realised a lot of my issues came from my childhood and the issues my mum had! So personally I found this very beneficial as it then made me do a lot of research into myself and my traits etc
What I would say is, no therapist is the same so maybe suggest to change, if that is a option?
Good Question. The answer is mixed for me. I have had 4 different councillors. The first 3 were not successful for me. My last councillor was found by my employee assistance provider and honestly changed my world. There is lots of different ways to reach out and you have done amazing to recognise that this is what you need. Mind have a good resource on how to find a therapist. Remember too if you need a listening ear Nacoa Helpline is there too for those moments where you need a friendly chat.
Hi there,
I have personally benefited hugely from counselling. The growth I have experienced since having my first session is enormous. I opted for a psychotherapist who had experience in ACOA ( adult children of addiction) and also who uses direct and indirect methods. I would say it’s definitely about finding the right fit for you and also being ready. It can pull up so much that has been buried or dissociated from and I did have ptsd for a brief period whilst going through the process. Everyone is different and I would say sometimes we feel like we have gone backwards but in fact I believe this is just where we need to re- feel those wounds in order to heal. It’s a tough journey, can be brutal in fact but I really think if you are ready and have a support system for those times it can really lift a weight, give understanding about yourself and a sense of acceptance. You just have to remember you can come out the other side. Nacoa has the incredible helpline which you can use to be able to talk ( talk therapy) is so beneficial.
We need to feel heard, seen and acknowledged, writing here can help with that too.
I wrote 52 related poems (encouraged by my therapist) and this was hugely beneficial. I hope it helps knowing here in this NACOA community we relate and empathise with your struggles.
I hope you find what works best for you. 😊
The rainbow
Follow the rainbow through the healing
Where I am know is not the ceiling
It will follow me through my life
Battling each trigger with strength and strife
But where I am here today
Makes me realise I’ve gone the right way
I could of turned and looked away
Left the process for another day
I took the leap that was niggling inside
Dug out all the feelings I hide
Feeling lighter with every hurdle
All of this healing I have journaled
Something to reflect upon
Remind myself how far I’ve come
To share these thoughts with others too
Hoping to inspire those who
May need to jump on to the rainbow
Knowing there’s one way to go
It’s a climb up to the top
And for me then a steep drop
The validation, the trauma and pain
Can feel at times like your going insane
The acknowledgment and acceptance
Can feel like you have had a regression
But this is who you are meant to be
Not defined by what was done to me
Shed the layers that were put on you
They are not held on with glue
See where your life lessons have led
This you do not have to dread
My life right now is full of light
And if yours doesn’t feel right
There is time to make a change
Starting now to rearrange
All the emotions buried deep
These you do not have to keep
Start your healing right away
Even reading this will play
A part in opening up your heart
Now is the perfect time to start
Over the rainbow you must hike
The pot of gold is a beautiful site
Worth the struggle that it takes
To feel free from another’s mistakes
Hello ephe1,
Thank you for reaching out, and sorry to hear that you struggled to find a counsellor that was suitable for you and your needs, that must have been really frustrating.
You deserve a counsellor that understands the struggles of being a COA and how this can still impact your adulthood.
Being a COA is a journey and won’t just stop when you become an adult. Finding the right counsellor for you is very important, and sometimes that can be a bit of a ‘trial and error’ process.
Have you tried the Counselling Directory - Counselling Directory - Find a Counsellor Near You? You can filter through the list of counsellors/therapists and select the type of support you need. Some counsellors offer an initial call or Zoom session to discuss how they work, so you might want to discuss their work with COAs at this stage if possible.
You can also contact the helpline if you want to talk to someone whilst you’re navigating this. You can call 0800 358 3456 or email helpline@nacoa.org.uk
Please remember you are not alone, and things can get better.
Take care,
Listener