Mom in denial about addiction
My mom is in complete denial of her addiction and I don’t know what to do anymore. Whenever I confront her about her drinking she treats me like I’m the one accusing her of something and I’m a liar and I’m sick of it. My entire family lives all over the world and she moved closer to me but we send her to rehab many years ago and she’s mentioned “jokingly” according to her how much she hates me because of it. I feel she wants to ruin my life she’s always bad mouthing my husband and its like a spell ill be so happy then when she’s here (she works away sometimes) I’m so negative and depressed. She’s always talking about how great my sister is but never wants to inconvenience her. I’ve recently saw evidence that’s she’s drinking again and I honestly want to tell her to grow up but I’m the only one here so I have to be nice. Help I’m so under her spell I’m pretty sure it’s codependency? I just want to do what’s right but be happy too.
First of all I am so sorry to learn what you are going through and by reaching out on here, please do know you are not alone.
Unfortunately it sounds like your mum does not realise or want to confront her issue, so to distract from it, she is acting in this way. It’s very difficult to help someone that won’t admit or see their issue ( I had the same thing with my mother)
Do you have other people close to you that you can talk too?
From my own experience I eventually had to look after myself and for me this meant putting a distance between myself and mum at that time but i understand that is not always easy for everyone, as our instant desire is to try and protect our loved ones but also remember you need protecting as well.
You say you are worried about confronting her as you are the only one there and have to be nice, but also realize this is putting a huge burden on yourself. Can you reach out to your sister and try together to show your mum what impact she is having on all your lives and that you are only wanting her to get help, as you care for her etc?
Just remember Nacoa is always here to listen so you can reach out at anytime on here or via the helpline