Please help – my partner is using cocaine..




Hi everyone,
When my current partner and I started dating, I knew about her history with cocaine because she was honest about it, or I thought, having admitted it was all in the past. But over time, I found out there was more recent use, and a few days ago, I found some cocaine in her purse.
I haven’t confronted her about it directly yet but I admit that I am extremely worried and I just don’t know exactly what to do.
On the one side I’d like to confront her but I know she’s just going to lie about it. Also she’ll be upset that I went through her purse and while I admit I shouldn’t have, I had a hunch… and sadly.. i was proven right…
On the other side, I’m wondering if I should let it slide for now and check on her cocaine stash over time to see if there is use going on, but that sounds like a dumb idea because why would someone have some if not to use it?
To be honest, I am just lost and unsure what I should do next because I really care for her, but this sort of behavior frightens me and makes me feel very uncomfortable around her.
I appreciate any advice anyone has.
Thank you

  • listener

    Hi Robinson,

    I am very sorry to hear about that, it is completely understandable that you feel uncomfortable around her, especially because you feel like you cannot approach her about it without her lying.

    It is completely up to how comfortable you feel speaking to her about it regarding whether or not you should speak to her, perhaps if you did and made sure to avoid any phases or things that would make her feel worse or more guilty about it as it could make her become defensive or possibly more likely to lie about it. Making sure she knows that you are only asking her because you really care for her.

    By the sounds of it she is using it, however, if you did want to wait you could possibly get a larger picture of what is going on, what exactly is going on and how much.

    Is there anyone else close to you, you can speak to regarding it?
    Best regards,

  • uniquemind


    It is understandable you are frightened with finding the cocaine in her purse. However, It is best to confront her in the best possible way you can. Ask her if she needs support with a usage of cocaine and take a note of local organisations which are mental health and substance misuse. Just pretending you have not seen anything will not only play on your mind but you may feel like you can play a significant part in her recovery.

    Please take care.

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