Still healing

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here2help

I’ve been through talking therapy so many times and I do think it helps. I have fibromyalgia so I live with chronic pain and fatigue, and it’s suspected that trauma plays a role in creating this (very real) pain in the body. I’m trying a new approach where I’m working with a wellbeing coach to use mindfulness when talking about my emotions and things and it’s been good so far. But I always dread pulling out the “dad suitcase” and unpacking it all for discussion with someone. It’s often easier to keep it buried down deep as he died nearly 25 years ago. I hate that it’s still so hard to talk about and there are still things I haven’t said. But I want to heal my mind and body and so I have to keep going down this road so I can make peace with it again every so often.

Does anyone else here feel they have impacts to their physical health due to the trauma of their parent’s drinking? If so, how did / do you manage this? I want to do more restorative yoga or something but find it so hard with my condition, it’s both helpful but also makes things worse sometimes so it’s hard to do. If there was a physical way to get out the feelings I can’t describe I’d love to just release this pain.

  • pearl

    Hello,

    Thanks for reaching out here, it’s a great place to be heard.
    Have you explored EFT (emotional freedom technique)? There is loads online, it requires minimal movements but personally can have great benefits. It’s worth a look into. Its so tough going back over the pain, I look at it as feeling it is a way to approach healing but that never means it’s in a straight line or straight forward and actually often feels like steps back when dealing with triggers but it takes such courage so well done for doing talking therapy and utilising a wellness coach! You know you can also reach out at NACOA’s helpline too? Let us know how you get on and I wish you healing

    • listener

      Hi here2help. Thank you for taking the time to share.

      The Nacoa website has some useful information about the physical effects of alcoholism. The 'Coping and resilience' section of this page may be of interest to you: https://nacoa.org.uk/research-resources/research/

      I'm sorry to hear about the death of your dad. There is some information on coping with the death of a parent, including a booklet about the subject, on the Nacoa website: https://nacoa.org.uk/coping-with-the-death-of-a-parent-who-had-an-alcohol-problem/

      Do you have a support network around you at this time? Please remember that the Nacoa helpline is available to you on 0800 358 3456, Monday - Saturday 10am - 7pm.

      There is also the email address: helpline@nacoa.org.uk

      Take care.

  • onthemerrygoroundagain

    Hello,
    Yes, I do think the trauma has affected me physically or on some boundary between physical and mental health. After some of the latest episodes I developed a level of anxiety that leaves me physically unable to function, and the pain I experience due to back issues worsens, too.
    I would however recommend yoga, look for a small group in a church hall or similar, it is done much more personally than yoga in a sports centre. Our teacher always has workarounds, some people will do seated versions of exercises and if people are really struggling, it is fine to just lay down and relax, there's no pressure at all.
    The first time I attended, I was going through a period of personal stress, let alone everything I was normally carrying, I was a head of department being made redundant, too. I am not good at pulling out the suitcase myself, but that day I felt a weight lift from my shoulders and almost burst into tears in the class - that may sound like a bad thing but it was so releasing. So long as you are open about your physical limitations, you will probably find some peace in yoga, too.
    Good luck.

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