I’m scared I’ll never be free

Replies
2
Voices
2
Freshness
Followers

0

zeebee

I’m 27 now and my mum has been an alcoholic before I was born. She is currently homeless living in a family members spare room, with no ability to change her situation. Her drinking has led to a total personality change and serious physical deterioration. The hardest part has always been that I still love her. I feel terrified that I will never be able to live a normal and happy life whilst she is still alive, because the emotional weight I carry makes me feel so shameful, I feel I can’t form normal or healthy relationships. I feel so different to everyone else’s like I’m experiencing this a million miles away from even my closest friends. I feel so lost and defeated, and I just can’t see a way out.

  • listener

    Hi Zeebee,

    I'm so sorry to hear all that you're going through and how you are feeling. It is so hard when you feel unable to live a normal and happy life because you're carrying an enormous weight on your shoulders.

    I want to reassure you that you are not alone in feeling different from everyone else, feeling a sense of shame, and feeling unable to develop healthy relationships. These are very common in people who have grown up with an alcoholic parent. Although that doesn't make those things any easier, I hope it helps you to feel that there is nothing inherently wrong with you - you're experiencing a normal response to this incredibly difficult situation.

    I wonder if it might help to connect with others who are going through similar. It's great that you're posting on these message boards and I hope that helps. You might also find it useful to read through some of the personal experiences on the Nacoa website: https://nacoa.org.uk/support-advice/for-adults/experiences/

    Another thing that might help with that feeling of isolation is going to a support group where you could meet others who are experiencing similar things. If you want any information of that, you could always contact the Nacoa helpline (helpline@nacoa.org.uk / 0800 358 3456) and they could give you any information and support you in any way possible.

    Take very good care of yourself,
    Listener

Leave a Reply

Recent topics

  • Alcohol Abuse Mother
    Hi all, this is my first time posting here and feel a bit nervous about it. My mother has a really bad drinking problem. She…
  • Saying hello, as a system who grew up with an alcoholic mum
    We've been meaning to post something here for ages, but we decided we'll finally take some time and say hello. So, hey world, we're the…
  • Korsakoffs/alcohol induced dementia
    It's been a heavy day, as my 87-year old dad who has been an alcoholic all his life is now suffering (although undiagnosed) with most…
  • My Mum passed away
    Hi, First time on here so please bear with me. My mum just passed away on the 24th September and I'm so devastated. My mum…
  • Alcoholic Mother
    Hi, sorry for the long message ahead. For context I live in a multi-generational household, where my parents basically act like they are divorced but…

Recent replies

  • Hi checkeredthistle, Thank you for taking the time to share. This sounds really tough, and I just want to remind you that you’re not alone.…
    marble on Alcohol Abuse Mother
  • Hi Riders and Racer’s system, Welcome to the message boards! I’m so glad you’ve posted and I do hope that you can all find some…
    listener on Saying hello, as a system who grew up with an alcoholic mum
  • Hi checkeredthistle, It's so positive that you are reaching out on these message boards. It's understandable that it is nerve-racking, as you are sharing something…
    listener on Alcohol Abuse Mother
  • Hi I hope that some of the suggestions in the previous reply were helpful. It is so important that you look after yourself so that…
    papaya29 on Alcoholic Mother
  • Hi I'm so sad to read your story. The sudden death of your mum must be such a shock. Plus the grief at the situation…
    firkin on My Mum passed away

Keep in touch

To find out more about our events and activities, subscribe to our mailing list

We use Mailchimp as our marketing platform. By subscribing, you acknowledge that your information will be transferred to Mailchimp for processing. Learn more about Mailchimp’s privacy practices.