bereavement help

Replies
4
Voices
4
Freshness
Followers

0

fox26

Hi, I found out today that my father passed away. He has been an alcoholic for as long as I have known him and I could see this death coming from the last time I saw him in hospital so in a way mentally prepared myself but still came as a shock. He lived alone after his alcoholism forced my parents to split up when my mum was ill. I am in my second year of uni and was wondering if people could give advice about what they did if they had similar news. At the moment my mind is all over the place and it hasn’t really settled yet.
Thank you so much <3

  • listener

    Hi fox26,

    I am so so sorry to hear that your dad has passed away. Even though you prepared yourself mentally, it's natural to still feel in shock. It's all so raw, so I can understand why your mind is all over the place and it hasn't sunk in yet.

    There's bound to be many mixed feelings that will come up for you when the news has settled in. Do you have people who you can talk to about what's going on? Having support is so important and that can come in many different forms. Keep using these message boards if it helps, and remember that the Nacoa helpline is there for you too, if you need it at any point. Sometimes talking to people outside of your friends and family is helpful.

    It might be worth getting in touch with your tutor or someone else at uni. Having support in place and / or time off when you need it is a good thing to get in place for yourself for while you're grieving.

    I think for the moment the most important thing is to take care of yourself as much as you can, and reach out for support when you need it.

    Take good care <3 Listener

    • akop

      Hi,

      I am so sorry to hear of your dads recent passing, even when something is expected or anticipated it can still come as a massive shock to process.

      Telling University, whether that be your lecturer, tutor or going to student support may be beneficial as they will be able to offer you support with deadlines or arrange wellbeing support.

      Grief is personal and different for everyone but having people to talk to, whether that be friends and family or using support networks such as the nacoa helpline or online forums may be helpful.

      Take care, take each day as it comes and feel however you feel <3

  • akop

    Hi,

    I am so sorry to hear of your dads recent passing, even when something is expected or anticipated it can still come as a massive shock to process.

    Telling University, whether that be your lecturer, tutor or going to student support may be beneficial as they will be able to offer you support with deadlines or arrange wellbeing support.

    Grief is personal and different for everyone but having people to talk to, whether that be friends and family or using support networks such as the nacoa helpline or online forums may be helpful.

    Take care, take each day as it comes and feel however you feel <3

    • esther03

      Dear fox,
      I am so sorry. May I suggest that you lean heavily on counselling services.
      Tell your tutors, of course. Then:
      Find your uni's counselling service, make an appointment and explain you've recently had an alcohol-related bereavement. It is so important to talk.
      Al-Anon is a group for friends and family of alcoholics. They should have a regular in-person or virtual group meeting in your area. I believe you can just turn up. Other people there will know what you're going through.
      Cruse bereavement counselling is something I hear good things about.
      I have little experience of nacoa but its forum looks good :0
      I hope these practical suggestions are helpful.
      Bless you,
      Esther

Leave a Reply

Recent topics

  • Different feelings different days
    I haven't spoken to my mum and step-dad properly now for over six months. I guess the best place to start would be at the…
  • Newbie here
    Hi everyone, I am new here but have been reading all the posts from children to adults and have to say they all resonated with…
  • I have never admitted this before
    No-one that knows me (apart from immediate family) knows that I live with my mother who is alcohol dependent and has been all of my…
  • Anger
    Hello everyone I wanted to come on and talk about something I haven’t really noticed before. It’s that when my mum drinks she seems to…
  • Feeling lonely
    Hello. I am new to this group and want to know how other people are dealing with feeling lonely. I am only 10 with 2…

Recent replies

  • Thank you so much reaching out and sharing your story. I am sorry to hear of your experiences as a child where alcohol was involved…
    listener on Different feelings different days
  • Welcome! I’m so pleased you have found this little community at Nacoa and, more importantly, that you’re finding things that resonate you – I hope…
    listener on Newbie here
  • Hello Laila, I am really sorry to hear about your mum’s drinking and the impact it has on you. It sounds like you are navigating…
    listener on I have never admitted this before
  • Thank you so much for sharing your journey with us. I am sorry you have had this experience and that there was no support for…
    butterfly583 on Newbie here
  • Hi Laila It's so difficult trying to persuade a loved one not to drink. You can't make your mum stop drinking but it may be…
    papaya29 on I have never admitted this before

Keep in touch

To find out more about our events and activities, subscribe to our mailing list

We use Mailchimp as our marketing platform. By subscribing, you acknowledge that your information will be transferred to Mailchimp for processing. Learn more about Mailchimp’s privacy practices.