bereavement help

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fox26

Hi, I found out today that my father passed away. He has been an alcoholic for as long as I have known him and I could see this death coming from the last time I saw him in hospital so in a way mentally prepared myself but still came as a shock. He lived alone after his alcoholism forced my parents to split up when my mum was ill. I am in my second year of uni and was wondering if people could give advice about what they did if they had similar news. At the moment my mind is all over the place and it hasn’t really settled yet.
Thank you so much <3

  • listener

    Hi fox26,

    I am so so sorry to hear that your dad has passed away. Even though you prepared yourself mentally, it's natural to still feel in shock. It's all so raw, so I can understand why your mind is all over the place and it hasn't sunk in yet.

    There's bound to be many mixed feelings that will come up for you when the news has settled in. Do you have people who you can talk to about what's going on? Having support is so important and that can come in many different forms. Keep using these message boards if it helps, and remember that the Nacoa helpline is there for you too, if you need it at any point. Sometimes talking to people outside of your friends and family is helpful.

    It might be worth getting in touch with your tutor or someone else at uni. Having support in place and / or time off when you need it is a good thing to get in place for yourself for while you're grieving.

    I think for the moment the most important thing is to take care of yourself as much as you can, and reach out for support when you need it.

    Take good care <3 Listener

    • akop

      Hi,

      I am so sorry to hear of your dads recent passing, even when something is expected or anticipated it can still come as a massive shock to process.

      Telling University, whether that be your lecturer, tutor or going to student support may be beneficial as they will be able to offer you support with deadlines or arrange wellbeing support.

      Grief is personal and different for everyone but having people to talk to, whether that be friends and family or using support networks such as the nacoa helpline or online forums may be helpful.

      Take care, take each day as it comes and feel however you feel <3

  • akop

    Hi,

    I am so sorry to hear of your dads recent passing, even when something is expected or anticipated it can still come as a massive shock to process.

    Telling University, whether that be your lecturer, tutor or going to student support may be beneficial as they will be able to offer you support with deadlines or arrange wellbeing support.

    Grief is personal and different for everyone but having people to talk to, whether that be friends and family or using support networks such as the nacoa helpline or online forums may be helpful.

    Take care, take each day as it comes and feel however you feel <3

    • esther03

      Dear fox,
      I am so sorry. May I suggest that you lean heavily on counselling services.
      Tell your tutors, of course. Then:
      Find your uni's counselling service, make an appointment and explain you've recently had an alcohol-related bereavement. It is so important to talk.
      Al-Anon is a group for friends and family of alcoholics. They should have a regular in-person or virtual group meeting in your area. I believe you can just turn up. Other people there will know what you're going through.
      Cruse bereavement counselling is something I hear good things about.
      I have little experience of nacoa but its forum looks good :0
      I hope these practical suggestions are helpful.
      Bless you,
      Esther

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