Buying booze – enabling?

Replies
3
Voices
2
Freshness
Followers

0

maire

Hi all, first post. I’m struggling with my dad’s drinking which has started spiraling lately – could be drinking about 20 cans of strong cider a day and he has stage 3 cirrhosis. Sometimes he asks me and my stepmum to buy him booze. I refused initially but he’s going to drink and I don’t really want him driving drunk. Am we enabling him? We’re both scared he might kill someone if he drives. It’s putting us in a horrible situation. Has anyone dealt with this issue?

  • listener

    Hello,

    I'm so sorry to hear about your dad's drinking and the impact this is having on you all as a family. It sounds like you're feeling very torn about buying him alcohol which I can completely appreciate. On the one hand you don't want to enable his drinking, but you also don't want him driving under the influence. It sounds very scary and is a lot of pressure on you and your step mum.

    Ultimately I don't think there are any right or wrong answers, as each situation is different. There are some resources on the Nacoa website that can help guide you in terms of approaching your dad about his drinking that might help. You can find those here: https://nacoa.org.uk/research-resources/publication/

    Do you and your step mum have any support at the moment? Dealing with all of this must be very difficult, and it is important to have people who you can rely on for support when needed.

    I'm so glad you're reaching out on here and hope that helps.

    Take good care of yourself.
    Listener

    • maire

      We support each other but nothing other than that. It's very hard. I'll have a look at the publications.

      Thanks for replying, sorry about double-posting - there was an issue with the board last week!

  • listener

    It's good that you have each other in this difficult period. I hope the publications help, do keep posting if it helps, you are not alone and Nacoa is here for you as long as you need.

    Take care.

Leave a Reply

Recent topics

  • Like a ton of bricks
    Hey everyone, I'm around the five month mark of no contact with my mum. All week I've felt so tearful and exhausted on the brink…
  • Any thoughts on what to do when your parents get old?
    So me and my brother have supported my mother since we were teenagers and things have gotten progressively worse. Over time she has become recluse…
  • Boundaries – why is it so hard !
    Hi everyone, This last week following mother's day I realised that I just couldn't watch my mum get drunk anymore and sadly I don't think…
  • Limerance caused by my mum’s drinking
    Hey , I hope this is allowed as it is related to the effect my alcoholic mum has had on me. One of my colleagues…
  • The wider impact
    As I’m sure many do I feel like I’ve come here for a serious offload. My dad has been an alcoholic for most of my…

Recent replies

  • Hi katy996, I'm really sorry to hear that you were let down by your colleague. You were incredibly brave to reach out to him in…
    listener on Like a ton of bricks
  • I just want to say well done for your bravery and strength in getting to 5 months no contact, this must be so hard and…
    butterfly583 on Like a ton of bricks
  • Hi there, Thank you for sharing what's going on for you at the moment. It's always difficult making decisions like this, but you need to…
    marble on Like a ton of bricks
  • Cutting ties with a parent is never a decision made lightly. It’s something that takes immense courage, especially when it’s about reclaiming your peace and…
    sparklecoordinator on Boundaries – why is it so hard !
  • She hasnt worked for a long long time. She does own her home and obviously ideally its pretty tragic to have to sell to pay…
    mmkl on Any thoughts on what to do when your parents get old?

Keep in touch

To find out more about our events and activities, subscribe to our mailing list

We use Mailchimp as our marketing platform. By subscribing, you acknowledge that your information will be transferred to Mailchimp for processing. Learn more about Mailchimp’s privacy practices.