Coming to terms with the loss years later
Would like some advice from anyone who has lost a parent due to Alcohol and perhaps also struggled to come to terms with the experience and loss even when it has been years since it happened.
The National Association for Children of Alcoholics
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I am in a similar situation and hope to offer some words of comfort. My alcoholic father passed away over 5 years ago and there is not a day that goes by where I do not think of him. The hardest thing for me is the thought of what could have been. How would life be now if he was still here and wasn't an alcoholic? It pains me that he had so much potential to be happy and bring happiness to other people.
My coping mechanism is to think of the happy times. The times where he truly was my dad. I know every situation is different, but hopefully you have some happy memories to hold on to and help you through.
I haven't lost my mum but due to her alcoholism she has suffered from severe alcohol dementia for years now and she lives in a dementia care home even though she is only in her early sixties. She is still here but due to her dementia and other seizures triggered by drinking her personality is completely gone and she is not interested in talking to anyone or doing anything. She just stares blankly most of the time so even though I don't know what it's like to lose a parent to alcohol I sort of do if that makes sense.
For me what's helped is to read books and to write down my thoughts. I've also found a lot of comfort in connecting with other people that have gone through similar things like me. So for instance through Nacoa I've found a lot of interesting, useful and comforting links to articles, stories from other people etc. I've also had counselling and luckily a few close good friends who I've been able to talk to.
It's great that you are reaching out and I hope you can continue finding comfort in knowing that you are not alone and we can relate to how you are feeling.