Dependant Dad

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smithy92

Hi all. Unfortunately my Dad is now fully dependant on alcohol and has exhausted all medical help. He has previously been to rehab too but had a bad experience, which has now meant he is unwilling to return.
My question is at what point do you prepare yourself that someone you love will drink themselves to death?
On a slightly more positive note, despite years of drinking 70cl vodka daily he is somehow not at Liver Hepatitis and is somewhere between Fatty Liver and Liver Hepatitis. His liver is no longer able to fully absorb all alcohol he drinks so it is definitley worsening now but I’m unsure how long it will be before it gets to the next stage.

  • listener

    Hi Smithy92,

    I'm sorry to hear about the situation with your Dad and that all options feel exhausted. You mentioned he tried rehab but had a bad experience, your Dad may also see alcohol as the solution to make him feel better rather than the problem. with rehab (AA, support, therapies, counselling) like most things worth trying, you may need to "shop around" for the best one for you, and Nacoa could look into these with you, but it has to be up to your Dad to make the decision to get better. It's not your fault he can't stop drinking and you can't control it, you can only communicate your feeling and take care of yourself. If you've said how you feel about his drinking, how it's affected you and gone through resources with him, doing all you can to ensure he knows it is possible to stop, this may also help you to stand back a little and to let him take responsibility. There are publications for talking to someone about their drinking, other person diagnosis and support for people with alcohol problems on the publication page of the Nacoa website which may be useful to look at.
    To answer your question at what point do you prepare yourself for someone you love drinking themselves to death, I think that point is different for everyone and some people may never get to that point. Feeling hopeful and hopeless are both natural feelings to go though.
    What is positive to start doing is looking after yourself; already writing here you are doing something for you, which is a big step so well done for sharing how you are feeling here. It might be worth looking into further support for you such as support groups for children of alcoholics, making time for things you enjoy, self care as well as taking a step back and putting yourself first.
    I hope this message helps but please do keep reaching out.

    Message Board Mentor

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