Love
Dear whoever- void
What do I lack to live a life desperate,
silent
Longing to be loved.
Feeling like my default is broken, the structure is damaged
or oddly contorted.
My bones, body ached to be embraced.
To feel safe.
A sense of belonging in this place?
Screaming into a voided space.
silent
to everyone’s gaze.
Don’t love me to then take it all away.
Many times I’ve died before.
Clinging to a love that departed.
Again
and
Again
I will remain fossilised in
this place.
Dear Tm19x,
There is so much power in the words you’ve written. We can really see you and hear the grief you are holding. You don’t have to be silent here. There is space for you, on the message boards and the Nacoa helpline, to let out the feelings underneath. How was it to write this down?
Thank you so much for sharing your words with us. I think so many COA’s can relate to feeling displaced from safety and belonging. I could really resonate with that feeling of fossilisation too and being stuck in a place. It can be validating to know that we aren’t alone and there are people and communities who really do understand. Things can feel better.
Do you have a support system at the moment? You don’t have to journey healing alone. Please do continue to share on the message boards if you find it helpful. Nacoa’s helpline, made up of calls and emails, is open from 10am to 7pm too and Fresh Chat is available from the website between 12-5pm on a Thursday.
Thank you again for sharing your words with us,
Listener
Thank you for sharing this, it resonates with me. Take good care of yourself.
Thank you for sharing these words and expressing your feelings in a beautiful way. I too find it helpful to write my thoughts and feelings in this way, and I hope this has had the same effect for you. This is a safe space and I hope you find a sense of community, and I am sure your words will resonate with others. Sending you all the strength in a very difficult time.