My dad died of alcoholism

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asdfghj

Hey there,

My dad died mid-2023 as a result of alcohol poisoning. He was in his late 50s and had struggled with parts of himself and parts of life, using alcohol as a coping mechanism, for as long as I can remember. In the latter years of his life his abuse of alcohol progressed a lot to where he was incontinent, found passed out on the street often, and would not leave his home.

The grieving process for me has been strange and I find it difficult to discuss with others because of the emotions I feel around it and it not being a ‘normal’ experience most of my peers have endured. I think about his state of being, especially in his more recent years, often and I’m haunted by how much he had to suffer.

I’m curious to know how others have experience grieving since their parent has died from alcoholism?

  • zeebee

    Hey,

    Thank you for sharing. I think I understand what you mean. My mum is still alive but most days I pray she passes away, and that she is put out of her misery and the misery she has caused me and others in recent years. Once alcoholics have chosen their paths it's very difficult for them to bring it back round, and I know cognitively and physically it's too late for my mum. You aren't a bad person or a bad daughter/son for feeling differently than a lot of other people would. I hear you and I understand. Sending love,

  • listener

    I am sorry to read your personal experience and you really should know that you are not alone in your experiences and certainly grief.

    I came across this piece recently - https://community.thriveglobal.com/the-one-thing-no-one-ever-says-about-grieving/ and found it extremely helpful to understand the waves of grief. 1 to understand that your heart is broken, 2 recognising the need to grieve, 3 to touch the loss and all of its emotions, anger, sadness, bitterness, resilience - it really is like an ocean of waves and 4 to understand that grief can linger for such a long time that you almost befriend the grief.

    I really hope that it is helpful and truly do understand that there are lots of times and of course anniversaries where you are touched deeply but those around you will be moving in their own world and not say anything. Talking of your feelings can be really helpful but if those you are talking too haven't been in that situation they really can't understand. You're not a bad person for feeling the way you might do, it is such a lot particularly for everything you (and others in your situation) have been through.

    The grief you are encountering is yours and try to think of it as being the path to the other side of your pain.

    You will get through this. Take care of yourself and remember that you are not alone.

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