should i really report my mom?
First, a little background. I’m 15, turning 16 soon! So many good things have happened in my life recently and I’ve been very happy. The problem is my mom. I’m not in her custody, I haven’t been in her custody ever and legally I was adopted by her little sister when I was 7.
She’s been a drug addict my whole life. Everyone she surrounds herself with are addicts to. All of her past partners were criminals. My dad was part of a burglary that landed him in a book called, “The Robber Who Shot Himself In The Face” which is a book about the worlds stupidest criminals. I was told the woman he was trying to rob was on Ellen because it was so stupid.
Anyway, I’ve never had the thought to report her when she was using, it was something I was used to hearing and seeing. This time, for some reason, is different. I’ve seen a lot of crap because of her. I mean.. How many kids grow up with random people they hardly know sleeping in their bedroom because they had nowhere to go? Or knowing exactly how many days it’s safe to have a needle stuck in your arm from heroin? I don’t know. Maybe it’s more than I think.
I felt really ill when I got the thought to report her. My mind filled with, “maybe this time will be different,” “maybe she can get off of them on her own,” “but she promised.”
If you’re a kid who also has had the concept of a promise dirtied and broken because of a parent, I’m sorry. And I understand. My mom has done it to me so much and she has only been around for a collective 4 years of my life.
I keep thinking of all the bad things she has done to me. She made me miss my first day of kindergarten because she was high when she registered me and forgot when the first day was. Or in second grade when she showed up high to my classes Halloween party. Or, when she used my social security to get several loans before my 11th birthday(how?!?) When I couldn’t care for my guinea pigs she took them, and instead of rehoming them to a good family like I wanted she sold them to a breeder for $300. But no matter how many hurtful things she has done to me I can’t help but remember the good things.
Like all the times she stayed the night and would rub my back and sing me to sleep. Or when I was little and had my first anxiety attack and she would help me through it. Even that time she brought me home a puppy!
Even then, those are bad memories. She would lull me to sleep so she could sneak off and use again. She is the REASON I had anxiety attacks. The puppy she brought home was very ill and was in pain, my adopted mom told me that when the puppy wasn’t playing with me or my brother she had to be treated for a million and one infections and was constantly puking.
I guess I thought that writing this and being able to see my thoughts would help me to come to a decision but I just can’t. As much as I hate her I still just want her to be happy. I’m torn between wanting her to get better even if she hates me for reporting her(if she finds out) and just letting her do what she wants because that’s all she’s ever done.
Even though my adopted mom is great and loves me, I still just want my damn mom back. What should I do?