There are no words
I have been dealing with my mum’s alcoholism all my life and as much as I try and convince myself I don’t want my mum’s support, I do. It seems really counterintuitive to spend my time and energy wanting support from my mother when I know it won’t happen. I am very independent. And.I wish I didn’t have to be at such a young age. I wish my mum would hug me and tell me that it will be okay and it’s awful I don’t get to have my needs met,because of addiction. Some days I feel angry about my mum’s drinking and other days I just feel numb. Unfortunately I have experienced my father dying and while it’s beyond herrendous, he’s gone. Growing up with an emotionally absent mother, who is alive but can’t truly be there is just cruel.
I wonder if anyone has a similar experience to this, and how do you deal with it?