Unspoken pain
Going to see you and I’m scared what I will face, seeing you shrunken and in this state will cause too much pain. Almost feels like I’m looking at a mirror of mum’s helplessness in the grips of alcoholism.
Dad I can’t stop you from going the same way, I can’t fight your battles anymore. All I can do is tell you I’m worried and offer to be there.
It’s so hard seeing our parents struggle with this disease, and it sounds like you have already lost your mum to alcoholism, which is just awful. Sending you courage for your visit with your dad. I’m so sorry for what you are going through. Please be gentle with yourself and have some good self care afterwards. Remember you can contact the Nacoa helpline if you’d like to speak to someone who understands. Take good care of yourself.
Hi,
I’m so sorry for the pain you’re currently experiencing, this sound so raw for you.
Seeing the effects of alcoholism on our parents can be heartbreaking, it sounds even more so when that sight is echoing what you saw in your mum too. It’s understandable to feel scared. I hope you can put some of that fear and pain into Nacoa, or the message boards here, and know that you aren’t alone in holding it. We can carry this with you.
You are right that this is out of your control, in the same way that this isn’t your fault or yours to cure or fix. Have you seen the six C’s?
I didn’t cause it.
I can’t control it.
I can’t cure it.
I can take care of myself.
I can communicate my feelings.
I can make healthy choices.
Please do remember that you are important, you matter in this. Your grief and pain deserve space to be felt and heard. Do you have people you can speak with? How is your support network? You can always reach out to Nacoa’s helpline, via email or phone.
I really hope sharing some of your thoughts helped share the heavy weight you are carrying, if only for a moment.
Take good care,
Listener.