I absorb everyone’s trauma like a sponge
I look forward to finding ‘me’; the woman I was meant to be; to being affirmed in my journey. I didn’t know what I was looking for, and had almost given up. Now I know; it’s me!
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I look forward to finding ‘me’; the woman I was meant to be; to being affirmed in my journey. I didn’t know what I was looking for, and had almost given up. Now I know; it’s me!
Coming home from school was terrifying. I knew every floorboard that creaked, every door that squeaked and became expert at moving silently.
“Don’t trust, don’t talk, don’t feel,” these are the rules of a dysfunctional family.
I wanted people to understand, to know what I was going through, but no one understands unless they’ve experienced it themselves and I was too messed up to let people get close.
I have had the courage to heal the sickness inside me. To rid myself of the shame and blame and guilt that was never mine anyway.
There was a silence filled with clanging feelings of humiliation and doubt and fear.
I would like to say to anyone who finds themselves in the situation that I was in, that there is hope.
It’s vital that we take away the shame from the illness of alcoholism, so that people aren’t frightened to come forward and ask for help.
But you will keep the secret to yourself that isn’t even a secret.. You don’t talk about it, you don’t talk about yourself, you don’t talk about your family, you keep your hopes and dreams to yourself but you don’t know why.
I am haunted by the idea that the telling of these dark truths is an unwarranted betrayal of my mother.
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