Kelly Pegg – #LunchtimeLives
‘Probably from the age of about six I knew what alcohol was.’
‘Probably from the age of about six I knew what alcohol was.’
Addiction taking priority
The conspiracy of silence has made sure I never ask
Sometimes I feel relief that she is gone, relief that the merry go round I was on has finally stopped and will never start again. Guilt is the main emotion that has accompanied this relief
Sometimes I feel relief that she is gone, relief that the merry go round I was on has finally stopped and will never start again. Guilt is the main emotion that has accompanied this relief
When I was younger I always knew there was something not quite right
The point I want to make is that I don’t blame my dad anymore – he was ill – alcoholism is an illness.
The point I want to make is that I don’t blame my dad anymore – he was ill – alcoholism is an illness.
It took me years to admit to myself that I had a mother suffering from alcoholism
I had never been aware of what was wrong with her. I had had no one to guide me or to tell me that it was not my problem or that she had one.
I had never been aware of what was wrong with her. I had had no one to guide me or to tell me that it was not my problem or that she had one.
I read the letter to children, it made me cry
To the world outside everything was fine, a normal middle class family.
To the world outside everything was fine, a normal middle class family.
Alcohol allowed me to feel like I fitted in
It was the first time I really knew what was wrong with me. For years I had been drinking just to exist but had always justified it as something I deserved.
It was the first time I really knew what was wrong with me. For years I had been drinking just to exist but had always justified it as something I deserved.
It felt as though our family had a shameful secret that couldn’t be discussed
I wanted people to understand, to know what I was going through, but no one understands unless they’ve experienced it themselves and I was too messed up to let people get close.
I wanted people to understand, to know what I was going through, but no one understands unless they’ve experienced it themselves and I was too messed up to let people get close.
Mind the gap
There was a silence filled with clanging feelings of humiliation and doubt and fear.
There was a silence filled with clanging feelings of humiliation and doubt and fear.
Safe as houses: No one hits you, yells at you. But there is a great secret, betrayed only by the knowing looks of others
But you will keep the secret to yourself that isn’t even a secret.. You don’t talk about it, you don’t talk about yourself, you don’t talk about your family, you keep your hopes and dreams to yourself but you don’t know why.
But you will keep the secret to yourself that isn’t even a secret.. You don’t talk about it, you don’t talk about yourself, you don’t talk about your family, you keep your hopes and dreams to yourself but you don’t know why.
The Two Mothers
I am haunted by the idea that the telling of these dark truths is an unwarranted betrayal of my mother.
I am haunted by the idea that the telling of these dark truths is an unwarranted betrayal of my mother.
