The conspiracy of silence has made sure I never ask
Sometimes I feel relief that she is gone, relief that the merry go round I was on has finally stopped and will never start again. Guilt is the main emotion that has accompanied this relief
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Sometimes I feel relief that she is gone, relief that the merry go round I was on has finally stopped and will never start again. Guilt is the main emotion that has accompanied this relief
Just to hear about the disease in a non-judgmental way and to be heard can end years of isolation and be profoundly healing.
The point I want to make is that I don’t blame my dad anymore – he was ill – alcoholism is an illness.
I will never forget my past and what’s happened in my life. I just try and believe my mum and dad are at peace now and in a better place.
To anyone that has gone through a similar thing I would like to say: things get better, and don’t be afraid to ask for help.
Coming home from school was terrifying. I knew every floorboard that creaked, every door that squeaked and became expert at moving silently.
I wanted people to understand, to know what I was going through, but no one understands unless they’ve experienced it themselves and I was too messed up to let people get close.
It’s vital that we take away the shame from the illness of alcoholism, so that people aren’t frightened to come forward and ask for help.
The fight to stay sane is sometimes so difficult there were, and are, times when I wonder if it was all worth it.
I had three daddies. ‘Nice daddy’, ‘funny daddy’ who was just slightly drunk, and then of course ‘nasty daddy’.
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