Capacity

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tm19x

You say dad has capacity to make his own choices, well can’t you see what we as his children could see.
They say it’s an illness, an awful disease. Where is the help, the intervention to prevent the tragic reality.
Underneath his booze filled anger and odd behaviour is a man who has lost his wife to alcohol, who is struggling to hold his head up above so he doesn’t drown. He drinks to numb because he didn’t want his kids to see him so down.
Drinking was more socially acceptable than a father breaking down.
He thought the alcohol could keep him going so he could face another day but really it’s what’s now killing him.
He was at a point where he could no longer make the decision to drink or not too with clarity. It controlled him.
It was killing him.
So please when you tell us that dad has the capacity and we loose hope again, please take a second to think about the children who face their fathers destruction as their reality.

  • listener

    Hi tm19x,

    This is incredibly relateable for a lot of us here I'm sure. I really like how you wrote from the perspective of a child but also you gave insight into what it's like for the parent who is struggling. It's amazing that you can be so understanding while also going through the pain of losing your parent to alcohol.

    How does it feel to channel your feelings into a poem? I really hope it has been cathartic in some way. I know it could leave you feeling vulnerable too so I hope you're looking after yourself.

    Keep reaching out and remember Nacoa is there for you too.

    Take care

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