Advice for controlling my emotions
I’m not entirely sure about what to say here but recently I’ve been struggling quite bad with my Dad’s alcoholism so I thought writing on here might make me feel better, as well as anyone else who is in a similar position to me.
Just for a bit of context I’m 20 years old and for at least the past 5 years my dad has been alcoholic, but in reality it may have been for much longer but I only started noticing it when I was around 15. I’m pretty lucky in the fact that a lot of the time he is sober but when he gets drunk (ranges from a couple of times a week to around once a month) he gets really angry and verbally abusive at my mum in particular, but also me and my brother.
Throughout the past month his drinking has really started affecting me and apparently a couple of weeks ago, whilst I was away at uni, my dad was the worst he had ever been. My mum told me about this whilst we were out in public but after holding my pain in for so long I just couldn’t hold it in anymore and I ended up in tears in public.
He came home drunk last night and although there was no major argument it still really hurt me as everytime he drinks a bit of my heart brakes. As a result of this I tend to remain distant from my dad because if I forgive him or let him into my life I’ll just end up even more heartbroken the next time he drinks. This morning, in an attempt to get him to stop drinking, I told him that I’m thinking about going to a support group for people affected by someone else’s drinking but in response he burst out laughing whilst telling me that everyone is just going to laugh at me.
His drinking makes me so angry and upset every single day, even when I’m at uni and haven’t seen him in weeks. Everytime alcohol is mentioned, whether that be on an advert or social media, I just get this wave of sadness which is incredibly tiring as this often occurs several times every day. It’s also incredibly hard to not burst into tears every time someone asks me why I don’t drink.
Anyways, that’s all I really wanted to say. If anyone has any tips of how I can stop being so affected by my dad’s drinking then please feel free to drop a message down below as It would be greatly appreciated!