You say dad has capacity to make his own choices, well can’t you see what we as his children could see.
They say it’s an illness, an awful disease. Where is the help, the intervention to prevent the tragic reality.
Underneath his booze filled anger and odd behaviour is a man who has lost his wife to alcohol, who is struggling to hold his head up above so he doesn’t drown. He drinks to numb because he didn’t want his kids to see him so down.
Drinking was more socially acceptable than a father breaking down.
He thought the alcohol could keep him going so he could face another day but really it’s what’s now killing him.
He was at a point where he could no longer make the decision to drink or not too with clarity. It controlled him.
It was killing him.
So please when you tell us that dad has the capacity and we loose hope again, please take a second to think about the children who face their fathers destruction as their reality.

  • listener

    Hi tm19x,

    This is incredibly relateable for a lot of us here I'm sure. I really like how you wrote from the perspective of a child but also you gave insight into what it's like for the parent who is struggling. It's amazing that you can be so understanding while also going through the pain of losing your parent to alcohol.

    How does it feel to channel your feelings into a poem? I really hope it has been cathartic in some way. I know it could leave you feeling vulnerable too so I hope you're looking after yourself.

    Keep reaching out and remember Nacoa is there for you too.

    Take care

Leave a Reply

Recent topics

  • Unspoken pain
    Going to see you and I'm scared what I will face, seeing you shrunken and in this state will cause too much pain. Almost feels…
  • Recovering alcoholic left
    This is a bit of a different one but alcoholic father did good and is in recovery coming up 2 years. We endured the years…
  • Drinking Culture and trauma
    In September, it'll be my work's annual company day, usually a day away with an overnight stay. I missed one year, the only year I…
  • My dad is choosing alcohol
    For context from the day i was born till i was 12 me and my dad were close then the pandemic hit and he took…
  • Still Haunted
    Hi I grew up with an alcoholic father from my earliest memory until I moved out aged 21. I am now 44 years old and…

Recent replies

  • Hi, I’m so sorry for the pain you’re currently experiencing, this sound so raw for you. Seeing the effects of alcoholism on our parents can…
    listener on Unspoken pain
  • It’s so hard seeing our parents struggle with this disease, and it sounds like you have already lost your mum to alcoholism, which is just…
    here2help on Unspoken pain
  • Hi, I’m glad you’ve reached out here on the message board. This sounds so difficult for you. It’s really hard to say what’s ‘normal’ or…
    listener on Recovering alcoholic left
  • It's nice to share it here were people can understand. Sometimes it does feel very isolating not having anyone who understands what this is like.…
    tm19x on Reflection of my youth
  • I know exactly what you mean about this social expectation to be surrounded by alcohol and what that’s like as someone who’s life has been…
    henryvipart2 on Drinking Culture and trauma

Keep in touch

To find out more about our events and activities, subscribe to our mailing list

We use Mailchimp as our marketing platform. By subscribing, you acknowledge that your information will be transferred to Mailchimp for processing. Learn more about Mailchimp’s privacy practices.