husband drinks

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sassyfrass

hi all, My husband (69) gets drunk at the pub with a friend at least 2 times a week He leaves at 1pm and comes home at 7pm. They drink and do a crossword, but that is ALOT of beers.. He comes home, falls asleep on the couch. Next morning he is bright and cheery. I have told him he has a problem, but as usual it is going no where. This situation seems to be about every 3-4 days now. This problem didn’t present itself when we were raising our children and working but since he retired a few years ago, it seems to just lapse in to his staying at home, sitting in front of a computer and going out. I have to do all the planning for holidays, etc.

Some days I just want to take off for a few days and leave him but I won’t as our finances are in a combined state and I’ll be honest, I don’t want to be hurting financially. Sounds superficial, but I know childhood poverty…..

Lately now it seems I have to run the household and he lets details slip now like doing the taxes! We will now have to pay penalties…..

I do dream of leaving him more often than I want to, but being in my late 60’s I don’t want to be alone. We have a dependent 23 year old daughter with us. I just sort of feel stuck, and was wondering what you think. When we go out with friends, he is outgoing and talkative, but if they offered him drink without limits he would binge at their house and I have to be the one to say we are leaving.

I have a few holidays lined up that include drink packages and I worry…. I feel in a limbo with a partner who is alcohol dependent. Help? Advice? Thanks.

Stuck…..

  • listener

    Hi sassyfrass,

    Thank you for speaking out about your husbands drinking. Its not easy to ask for help.

    It must be frustrating for you being left to do look after everyone and everything else. Do you have anyone you could turn to for support? Someone you could chat to, and get these feelings off your chest for a bit?

    We have some helpful resources on our website which could help you understand why your husband doesn't notice a problem, and how you could speak to him to highlight your concerns.

    I hear that your husbands drinking has become a problem since retirement. Would having a hobby, instead of going to the pub, be a better solution? Is there anything your husband would enjoy getting involved in? Whether that's something which could be done at home, or volunteering?

    I do hope this helps you. If you would like more information, please do not hesitate to contact us.

    Kind regards,

    Listener

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