I’m 36 years old. My mother has been alcohol dependent for my entire life.
I really want to share my story with you.
I have experienced situations that most people won’t ever even think about but I’ve been trying to get through life but I have now found myself struggling to cope without drugs.
I detest alcohol and I have stayed away from it as I have a huge addictive personality.
I was diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 12.
I was prescribed ritalin but stopped taking medication when I turned 16.
I started using cannabis to self medicate.
I’ve had a terrible childhood and I am suffering from the traumas and abuse I received during my childhood.
My mother has literally broken me and has done the most horrific things to me.
She recently had her leg amputated and down to alcohol abuse.
She has a blood clot that could move at any moment and it would kill her. she’s now a ticking time bomb.
my brother and I have paid her mortgage for over 15 years as she nearly lost the house.
we were only supposed to pay for a year to get her back on her feet.
covid came and it rocked my world. I lost my own home, car, job as id just joined a new company at Xmas just before covid arrived.
Whilst loosing everything I still managed to pay my moms mortgage. It made sense for my partner and I to move in with my mother as we were always there anyways plus its a 3 bed and she was just using the down stairs.
Hello,
I'm truly sorry to hear that you're going through such a challenging time, and I appreciate you opening up and sharing your story. It sounds like you've faced incredibly difficult situations, from your struggles with ADHD and the use of drugs to cope, to the traumatic experiences in your childhood, and the added many challenges of your mother's health issues and addiction.
It sounds like you have been through tremendous hardships, especially during the upheaval caused by COVID. Losing your home, job, and car while still supporting your mother financially I imagine is incredibly heavy to bear. Having ADHD may make this feel even more demanding. Although you and your partner moving in with her makes sense it can also come with it's own stressful times too.
It's commendable that you've been there for her throughout your life and in so many ways.
It takes courage to share your story, and I want you to know that your feelings are valid. It also sounds like you have done the best you can and coped in the best way you know how and able to, with what you have been through. You and no one else should have to go through the things you have.
In hardships, though it may not always feel like it, it sounds like you have shown immense strength, resilience, compassion and dedication.
Taking care of yourself is crucial, you are important too. You don’t have to face these challenges alone, you are not alone and there are people who genuinely care and want to help. You can always contact the Nacoa helpline and they can support you in navigating the complex challenges with your mum, be a kind listening ear, help by researching for you in regards to your ADHD, as well as guide you to practical help and support locally for you if you wish.
I’m really glad you told your story. Reaching out is not easy to do, and is a really positive step.
Take good care of yourself and remember you are not alone and you are important too.
Warmest wishes,
Listener
Thinking of you. You'll put yourself into an early grave trying to help her - it's unlikely she will ever change. You cannot be responsible for this anymore, it's unsustainable financially, mentally and physically for you. You don't owe her anything, in fact, it's her who owes you in so many ways. You are not responsible for your parents in anyway. You can find the strength to let go, I promise x