Hi, I’ve only found these message boards Today but I felt compelled to add a topic as I am struggling to cope. My Mom is an alcoholic , who is still in denial, but she was just released from hospital after being diagnosed with a decompensated liver from alcohol consumption. My sister basically saved her life by pestering her for weeks to go to the Doctors and she finally seen sense – right in time. They managed to stabilise her after a few weeks and sent her home with the instructions of never drinking again and changing her lifestyle completely. When she was in hospital, we went round and cleaned her house and found boxes and boxes of drink in every crevice. It was very confronting seeing it in such quantity all at once.

I visited her almost every day in hospital. This is the most time I have spent with her in years. But I am struggling to soften and sympathise with her. Especially when she is still not admitting to her problem. Old wounds have been reopened and I have found this whole experience very triggering.

My Mom has had a drink problem since I was about 11. She would drink every day, never cared for us as a normal mother would, would have different men around the house all the time or was out leaving us to fend for ourselves. And when she has a drink she is horrible. She is a narcissist and very cruel. She would shout abusive things at us constantly. She has said and done some unforgivable things over the years. Ruining almost every single family event by being too drunk and nasty to everyone she encounters. Very big chip on her shoulder. She lives alone now, which is unsurprising. On one hand I wish I could just walk away. I have been put through so much by this Woman my entire life. But then I feel guilty – for what, I don’t know.

I don’t know which way to turn and what I should do. I am struggling to keep my own emotions under control.