33 year old daughter of an alcoholic mum
Hi to whoever reads this,
I’m just feeling low lately and looking for additional support.
I’ve tried to find things locally to me before to no avail. I’m based in a little town in Derbyshire.
As an only child of an alcoholic Mum, and having no relationship with my Dad anymore, I feel such weight on me. She lives alone back in Liverpool where I’m from and doesn’t look after herself in any way and has deteriorated mentally and physically through her drinking and lifestyle/the people she has started mixing with.
It’s so frustrating and saddening to see where she has ended up and how far removed she is to the Mum I remember from when I was little. She did always like a drink, but it was of a weekend in our kitchen. She played her music loud and it did distress me, but she looked after herself. She liked her clothes and styling her hair, doing her make up etc… now she doesn’t wash, barely moves and doesn’t leave her home, it’s in a really bad way. I’ve paid for it to be deep cleaned for hundreds of pounds yet within a few months it was back to just how it was.
I really related to a comment in one of the articles on here another COA wrote about how it’s like mourning a parent that is still alive, as you lose them to the alcoholism.
I just don’t know what to do. Acquaintances and friends have told me they’ve had to completely cut contact with parents with issues like this to protect themselves, but then I have my Mum’s neighbours and her limited friends that she still communicates with judging me for not being more involved and sorting her out.
I feel it’s taking it’s toll in other areas of my life too as it has created tension with my partner when I’ve been down about things with her and can be low and irritable, or sometimes I respond to things between him and I in extreme ways which I later recognise as being irrational and I’ve been struggling emotionally.
I’d love to know if there’s any support out there, especially locally to me.