Hi, I am struggling currently becoming a mum for the 2nd time. I spent the Duration of my teens in foster care as my mum was an alcoholic and I got removed from her care. She tragically died when I was 21 I’m now 31. It’s hard to remember the good times growing up as most of my memories have Been erased and only bad ones remain. My father is also an alcoholic but I do not see him and he now has other children who he cares for. sometimes I struggle with low feelings that I’m not worthy or good enough. I have got a loving partner and he is supportive but that does not help with feelings I have within. I just wish I could provide my mum with the support she needs now that I’ve grown up. And sometimes this is hard to accept that I’ll never get that opportunity.

  • listener


    I'm so sorry to hear how difficult your childhood was; spending lots of your teens in foster care must have been really hard for you. I'm sorry as well to hear that your mum died when you were 21. Only being able to remember bad times and having blanks in your memory must be really painful.

    I'm so glad you have a loving partner, who you deserve. I appreciate that this doesn't change your feelings of low self-worth though, which are very common when you've grown up around alcoholism. Having two children is a lot on your plate too, so I can totally understand why you're struggling with everything.

    You mentioned that you wish you could provide your mum the support she needs. It must be so hard knowing that you can't do that now. Losing a parent who has had an alcohol problem can cause so many mixed emotions and the grief process can be incredibly complex.

    Do you have support around you at the moment? Do you have anything that helps you to cope?

    I hope you can find some support on here, and please know that the Nacoa helpline is there for you too.

    Take good care,

  • ashbash

    Hi there
    I am so sorry to hear how you are feeling. I was removed from my mums care too and so I understand how difficult that is and how much it hurts and how angry you can feel.
    I am so sorry to hear that you lost your mum, that was have been heartbreaking for you. I know it was for me. I can relate to only remembering hard times and it must be hard for you to see your father battling the same issues and caring for other children.

    I know it might not seem it, but you are not worthless. You are loved and you are enough. What happened to your mum is not your fault and by the sounds of it, she has a daughter that loves her very much even in death.

    I hope you’re alright.
    Take care x

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