I’m almost 22, in my final year of university and my mum has struggled with alcohol problems ever since my teens, but with full blown addiction since 2020. This has left her in hospital on multiple occasions, including in intensive care. Following a stay in hospital roughly six months ago, she decided she would stop. She often tried to stop before but it only lasted a day or two, however this time she lasted 6 months completely sober. During this time, I started to see ‘my mum’ come back, she was so positive and I started to enjoy speaking to her again. I felt hopeful for the first time in 2.5 years that we were out of the worst of it and began to rebuild a close relationship.
A week ago she relapsed. Badly, and has gone back to drinking morning until she takes herself to bed. I feel crushed, like everything was starting to fall back into place and it’s all fallen back down. It feels worse this time, as I had gotten my hopes up that everything would be okay. We had plans for when I came back from uni for Easter, she was talking about a dress she was planning on wearing to my graduation. Everything feels completely ruined, and like this is never going to end.
I guess I’m just posting this in the hope that someone will understand. I have good friends and housemates, but I just feel so incredibly lonely. I feel like I’m also starting to get snappy with friends, as I feel so horrible and everything everybody says just makes me feel worse.