I am the only one in my family who thinks it is a good idea to stay soba as much as possible, I feel really alone during holidays and on special occasions. I’m scared that when my child grows up she will start drinking and taking drugs and be like them as well. Nothing really bad happens but I just look round and they are all wasted. I’m just tired of having to think about it, now that I am 40, I still feel like the little girl woken up in the night by drunken rowing parents. I feel like there’s no point in me being here just bringing the darkness in and spoiling all the fun. I don’t know what my future will be, I’m just really scared I don’t want my child to be drunk as well. I’m tired of having the same old conversations with them, and being accused of being mad. I thought you guys might understand.