I don’t know what to do anymore.
My dad is 58 and he as a drinking problem. Around January he had a very bad episode he has had drinks along the way which has lead to this. He can drink a whole litre vodka and beers on the side. When I’ve pointed it out over the years to my mom or brother no one hears me until it affects them.
After his really bad episode in January he apologised to me, but was still not taking accountability for it just blaming others for his drinking problem. He is diabetic by the way.
I’ve tried to speak to him even now because he still continues to drink and then say no one cares about him when on multiple occasions I’ve tried to talk to him, my mom makes excuses for him and my brother doesn’t want to know.
When I take evidence that he is drunk he says I’m disrespectful or I embarrass him and everything is always woman this and that. Yesterday, he came in from work drank some beers and was drunk and attempted to walk up stairs but failed by falling into things
That sounds so frustrating. It is so difficult dealing with someone else's drinking problem. It is really common that the drinker does not accept responsibility for their own actions and gets angry when challenged. It is also common that other members of the family are in 'denial' about the problem. This is usually to protect themselves from the painful truth. You have been really brave admitting to the problem and refusing to pretend. It can be tempting to try and fix the problem, but sadly that is not in our control. At Nacoa we always encourage people to take care of themselves.
Something that I think could be useful for you to think about is something that we call the 6C’s. If you would like to talk through these in more detail, please don’t hesitate to ask us.
• I didn’t cause it
• I can’t cure it
• I can’t control it
• I can take care of myself
• I can communicate my feelings
• I can make healthy choices
Take Care, Nacoa listener.