My dad has always been a drinker. I wasn’t aware of it fully until I was older and watching it. He was able to hold down a job, have friends, good relationship with my mum etc but he always drank, starting at dinner time.
It’s progressively gotten worse over the last 10 years. He would drink a bottle of wine at night, followed by a few gins. Which was fine, until he lost the ability to hold his drink.
He would fight with my mum and point blank refuses to acknowledge that he has a drinking problem. He has Parkinson’s too, so his balance is worse than normal and he falls over a lot.
Four weeks ago, it all came to a head and my mum told him if he didnt sort himself out she was going to leave him because she was refusing to put up with his drinking. We finally had a sober frank conversation and he agreed to go to AA.
He attended two meeting but wasn’t connecting to it. Turns out it wasn’t a meeting for a newcomer. I got him to the right meeting and he came away from it really good, connected with the guy organising it.
Later after the meeting he says that the guy who was running the meeting said he didnt think he was an alcoholic, only a heavy drinker and that it would be ok for him to drink beer. My head is going to burst because I know he’s lying to me.
He’s not been going out, but tonight, I saw that there was things in the fridge that I didn’t buy. So, confirming my fears, I went and checked his hiding places and he’s bought alcohol, he’s bought beers. I asked him about it and he lied to my face. Straight up lied and said that he didn’t go out.
For different reasons, I have access to his bank account. He did go out and spent money. But lied to my face.
I don’t want to tell my mum because I know it would finish her with him. I don’t want him to know I’ve been looking because then he will know that I know where he hides the drink.
I’m absolutely gutted and can’t talk to anyone about it. I don’t have anyone to talk to about it. I’m trying so hard to help him get sober and due to his Parkinson’s I live with him and my mum to care for him while she works so I can’t cut contact because we live together. I’m so stuck. I’m so sad.