parent doing the 12 steps
my dad has been doing his 12 steps he over a year sober and 6 months ago just upped and left stating he needs to be alone to just focus on him it was devestating i was weeks from my gcse exams had to move house everything id ever know since a child was gone. everytime we talked he has no real acceptance for the devestation his selfish sobirity caused let alone what the drinking caused
i have looked at the 12 steps and learnt some stuff and really held on to when he reached step 9 he would be in a place to really aknoledge the pain he caused and take some accountabilty i now know im not going to get that as he is now on step 10 and just says his step 9 is living amends and him being sober is his accountability
im heart broken i wasnt on his list for step 8 ….. did he even write one ?
Hi alonenowsober,
I'm so sorry to hear the devastation your dad's actions have caused you.
The challenges that come with a parent's sobriety are not often spoken about, but they are definitely real. Your dad's failure to acknowledge the impact of his actions on you sounds incredibly frustrating; I can understand why you're feeling heartbroken. Your feelings are totally valid.
Have you got any support around you at the moment? Is there anything that helps you to cope with how you're feeling?
I'm so glad you're reaching out on these message boards. I hope externalising this helps in some way.
Take good care,
Listener
Wow this sounds really tricky…. So proud that you are able to voice it here. Such a complex situation for you and really shows how addiction is an ongoing journey for loved ones even after sobriety. I’m so sorry that you are left feeling this way and hope that by talking about it you know you are not alone and that the NACOA 6 Cs still apply.
😊
Hey alonenowsober that sounds really difficult and I can understand your feelings of hurt. Unfortunately we cannot control the actions of others, only our own so please take care of yourself as moving and GCSEs is a lot of stress on its own. Please take care of yourself. I hope You have someone to talk to and the NACOA helpline is always here for you too.