parent doing the 12 steps

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alonenowsober

my dad has been doing his 12 steps he over a year sober and 6 months ago just upped and left stating he needs to be alone to just focus on him it was devestating i was weeks from my gcse exams had to move house everything id ever know since a child was gone. everytime we talked he has no real acceptance for the devestation his selfish sobirity caused let alone what the drinking caused

i have looked at the 12 steps and learnt some stuff and really held on to when he reached step 9 he would be in a place to really aknoledge the pain he caused and take some accountabilty i now know im not going to get that as he is now on step 10 and just says his step 9 is living amends and him being sober is his accountability

im heart broken i wasnt on his list for step 8 ….. did he even write one ?

  • listener

    Hi alonenowsober,

    I'm so sorry to hear the devastation your dad's actions have caused you.

    The challenges that come with a parent's sobriety are not often spoken about, but they are definitely real. Your dad's failure to acknowledge the impact of his actions on you sounds incredibly frustrating; I can understand why you're feeling heartbroken. Your feelings are totally valid.

    Have you got any support around you at the moment? Is there anything that helps you to cope with how you're feeling?

    I'm so glad you're reaching out on these message boards. I hope externalising this helps in some way.

    Take good care,
    Listener

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