Poem I wrote… Father’s Day 2020

Replies
1
Voices
2
Freshness
Followers

0

pearl

Once upon a time

Once upon a time I had a father
Another story you may rather

This one is for those who have lived through
A parent that you wish you knew

Let’s start before the beginning

When in life he thought he was winning

He was strong, fun and wild
A perfect soul mate she thought to create a child

This man was full of jokes and laughter
But this doesn’t lead to a happily ever after

For his family, peter pan needs to grow,
But something inside him wont make him let go

Of the free spirit that will not be tamed
And behind him a family feeling shamed

For all that see him tell of his wonder
But the family who fail to know him are full of ponder

Artistic, spontaneous, full of knowledge of nature
But no prioritise of the children and their mother.

Give all away with generosity
whilst your family lives in poverty

Grand gestures to anyone on the outside
But Behind closed doors they are only lied

Detachment passes through like genetics
Feeling sorry for him, it’s so complex like politics

Feeling sorry for ourselves as we scramble to make sense
Constantly over analysing wanting to make amends

Unreachable and in the distance the love is
The only problem to fix is his

But you can not help someone so deep
We just have to ensure we don’t repeat

The pattern that leaves the children empty
Confused, emotionally abused and grieving

Waiting by the window but with only half a hope
For each time it could be him, no show or the drunken bloke

Only ever gentle, never gets mad,
but zero responsibility
Which for children is very sad

No boundaries, example or reliability
Just who knows, we will have to wait and see.

Going to spend time only to be left alone
Not even contactable by the phone

No milk or sugar for you cereal again
Left just the 3 of you to fend

Grow up fast and learn quick
Looking back it makes me sick

To see the small children putting on their smiles
With love to share in heaps and piles

Lucky to have such a strong mother
But all were left and had to suffer

Too much stress and strain and drama
All we wished for a life much calmer.

So grateful when your friends dads step in
They take you by the hand

They show you stability, guidance and example of a man.

Holidays, a haven and family time
It really did feel like mine

The dream of a family unit
Knowing one day you will sit

With your own family which you would never let down
Nor your sorrows would you drink and drown

For any trauma must come to the surface
Even the grief for those you dearly miss

Don’t open the can of worms they say
But these deep feelings don’t go away

They hide and disguise you everyday
And stop you loving in every way

And as you grow into a adult that child that was emotionally abandoned doesn’t

It feels the confusion and the neglect
It also feels like its duty is to protect

For something that was once upon a time maybe there
But being in the present there seems no care

The bottle will always come first
And for us we must come second to the thirst

Loving him from a distance
Taking responsibility for your own existence

The resilience is a blessing yet exhausting
And we hope that this ongoing haunting

That we will one day not feel this dark cloud
And for what we pass on to our own we can be proud

Break the cycle and accept the fact
That once upon a time I had a dad

  • listener

    Thank you so much for sharing this poem.

    You have so perfectly captured what it is like growing up with an alcoholic parent - the two sides to a person and how the reality is very different from what it looks like to the outside world, the longing for a reliable parent and the lasting impact this experience leaves.

    I really hope that writing this helped you in some way. I know reading it will help others, so thank you again for sharing <3

    Take good care,
    Listener

Leave a Reply

Recent topics

  • One of three
    This is a mess. I’m approaching my 40s. One of three children of an alcoholic parent. Two years ago we found him, nearly dead at…
  • Mum’s gone
    My mum has been an alcoholic all my life. The last decade things got worse and worse, and she died from decompensated liver disease on…
  • Is this alcohol related?
    I’m in a really difficult place right now and could use some advice on navigating a situation that has only grown more complicated over time.…
  • Birthdays
    I could only wish for you to feel at peace that was all you ever deserved I can't pretend this doesn't come with a heavy…
  • To my younger self
    I see you. You’re 14, and you’re doing your best to be a good girl. You don’t realise it but you think that will make…

Recent replies

  • Thank you for sharing what you have of your story. I know others will hear you and understand you here. I’m so sorry for what…
    listener on One of three
  • This sounds so familiar. When my mam was alive she lived in an embarrassing state. She like your dad nearly went to the other side…
    sparklecoordinator on One of three
  • Hi thisisamess, Thank you for taking the time to share. I can really relate to this as I've had similar experiences with my own dad.…
    marble on One of three
  • Hi daffodil, That's understandable. It can often be helpful talking to people who are completely outside of your situation, and of course people who have…
    listener on Mum’s gone
  • Thank you both for these replies. They really did help. Everyone has been so kind and supportive and well meaning but sometimes their words just…
    daffodil on Mum’s gone

Keep in touch

To find out more about our events and activities, subscribe to our mailing list

We use Mailchimp as our marketing platform. By subscribing, you acknowledge that your information will be transferred to Mailchimp for processing. Learn more about Mailchimp’s privacy practices.