Time to walk away?
I think I have made the decision to tell my Dad that I won’t be visiting in any capacity until he accepts he needs help and gets it. I guess I’m just wondering if this is a bad idea? Over recent years he has had multiple alcohol related falls down the stairs and admissions to hospital. After the last one he was in for a week and said he wanted to stop so was given so much support while he was in, with support offered on his return. When they contacted him when he was home he refused help saying he was ok now and didn’t drink anymore. Just 2 weeks later he had been out and got some bottles of beer so I went round, and asked him what was going on. He told me he was in constant pain and I managed to get him to tell me he had hurt his tailbone which I know can be agonising. I sent him to the docs the next day. He lives with my mum (they no longer have a romantic relationship and my mum isn’t very tolerant of my Dad’s situation) and my 40 year old brother. Up until the detox I wasn’t in favour of taking booze from him but once he’d been through withdrawal I felt we should remove it. I know he can go out and get more but now it is safe for him not to drink I feel it is a physical communication of our feelings. Anyway, yesterday my brother told me that he has been buying more and told him he just wants ‘one a day’. He has since got Sherry which my brother has removed, but he won’t remove the beer. Both my brothers seem to think beer is ‘better’ than spirits (as he had in the past). Apparently there was 3 empty bottles around him yesterday and my brother thought he’d had more. When he had his last fall I lost 2 days pay taking him into hospital. The hospital staff were amazing and gave a chance to start new and have continued support. I will do what it takes to help and support him if he accepts help and still relapses, but I am struggling big time with his refusal for help despite vowing he would take it in hospital. I realise this will most likely mean I am writing my Dad out of my life, and am worried I am leaving the rest of the family to deal with him. I suppose that’s a choice they have to make too. So much guilt and am also quite resentful that it is me who ends up doing the frank talking with him – which I will do before informing him of my decision. There’s so much more to this long waffle of a vent, but this is the gist if it. I suppose I’m just wanting to check that there’s no obvious drastic reason why I shouldn’t take this route?