I don’t remember anyone coming to look for us
Us 3 lived on the pub doorsteps with bottles of lemonade sent out every hour.
Us 3 lived on the pub doorsteps with bottles of lemonade sent out every hour.
Isolated with the family secret
Some people may judge my mother for her illness, and call her an unfit parent. Don’t.
I stood in silence next to her bed, experiencing a succession of emotions. Disappointment. Anger. Rejection.
I stood in silence next to her bed, experiencing a succession of emotions. Disappointment. Anger. Rejection.
After all these years the one thing I have learnt is that the past doesn’t define who we are
No one has to suffer alone.
No one has to suffer alone.
I just read the letter “Two Mothers” and couldn’t believe my eyes
She is like the poem “When she was good, she was very, very good. But when she was bad she was wicked”.
She is like the poem “When she was good, she was very, very good. But when she was bad she was wicked”.
One minute my dad could be the most amazing man in the world, yet the next he was an ugly, frightening man
I never blamed myself for his drinking, but I always wondered how different my life would be if he didn’t drink.
I never blamed myself for his drinking, but I always wondered how different my life would be if he didn’t drink.
The conspiracy of silence has made sure I never ask
Sometimes I feel relief that she is gone, relief that the merry go round I was on has finally stopped and will never start again. Guilt is the main emotion that has accompanied this relief
Sometimes I feel relief that she is gone, relief that the merry go round I was on has finally stopped and will never start again. Guilt is the main emotion that has accompanied this relief
Every time I watched her buy alcohol my heart sank. Each time I withdrew a bit more
Just to hear about the disease in a non-judgmental way and to be heard can end years of isolation and be profoundly healing.
Just to hear about the disease in a non-judgmental way and to be heard can end years of isolation and be profoundly healing.
My reactions are so different to others and I feel very self-conscious about it
I feel so different to other people and compare myself to my work colleagues who had a normal upbringing.
I feel so different to other people and compare myself to my work colleagues who had a normal upbringing.
It took me years to admit to myself that I had a mother suffering from alcoholism
I had never been aware of what was wrong with her. I had had no one to guide me or to tell me that it was not my problem or that she had one.
I had never been aware of what was wrong with her. I had had no one to guide me or to tell me that it was not my problem or that she had one.
I wasn’t allowed any friends in the house nor did I have any birthday parties or go to any parties
I still suffer to this day, I suffer from the shame, I suffer thinking it’s something I have done, it will not go away, the feeling that I was and am worthless, will stay with me for the rest of my life.
I still suffer to this day, I suffer from the shame, I suffer thinking it’s something I have done, it will not go away, the feeling that I was and am worthless, will stay with me for the rest of my life.
