‘If he loved you enough he’d stop’
The most surprising thing to me is just how many people think and feel exactly as I do and how it is all so closely linked to being a COA.
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The most surprising thing to me is just how many people think and feel exactly as I do and how it is all so closely linked to being a COA.
He has never forgiven me for ‘abandoning’ him at this point.
I don’t hate my Mum anymore, I’m over the anger, I think what prevails is an overwhelming sense of sadness.
Just to hear about the disease in a non-judgmental way and to be heard can end years of isolation and be profoundly healing.
I feel so different to other people and compare myself to my work colleagues who had a normal upbringing.
I still suffer to this day, I suffer from the shame, I suffer thinking it’s something I have done, it will not go away, the feeling that I was and am worthless, will stay with me for the rest of my life.
I will never forget my past and what’s happened in my life. I just try and believe my mum and dad are at peace now and in a better place.
“Don’t trust, don’t talk, don’t feel,” these are the rules of a dysfunctional family.
I would like to say to anyone who finds themselves in the situation that I was in, that there is hope.
But you will keep the secret to yourself that isn’t even a secret.. You don’t talk about it, you don’t talk about yourself, you don’t talk about your family, you keep your hopes and dreams to yourself but you don’t know why.
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