I have cared for my dad for half of my adult life and I’m not going to do it any more

He has never forgiven me for ‘abandoning’ him at this point.

Over the years I stepped in to help him recover from various benders, then 3 years ago he fell down the stairs drunk and broke his back and several ribs. I moved in with him, which was really difficult and he was so ill I kept thinking he was about to die.

He then went abroad and returned to the UK with legionnaire’s disease after another bender. It was at this point I couldn’t take being his live-in carer any more. I saved his life by calling the emergency doctor then moved out when he was admitted to hospital. I was completely traumatised by seeing him in that state- doubly incontinent and barely able to breathe, but still smoking and drinking. I distanced myself from him whilst I recovered.

He has never forgiven me for ‘abandoning’ him at this point. I know whatever I do will never be enough for him. He’s getting worse all the time, so he’s frequently nasty and impossible to reason with.

I can’t cope with being in contact with him because it upsets me too much and I don’t even want to try any more.

I just want to sever all ties and get on with living my own life.

Liz

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I have cared for my dad for half of my adult life and I’m not going to do it any more

He has never forgiven me for 'abandoning' him at this point.

I have cared for my dad for half of my adult life and I’m not going to do it any more

He has never forgiven me for 'abandoning' him at this point.

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Over the years I stepped in to help him recover from various benders, then 3 years ago he fell down the stairs drunk and broke his back and several ribs. I moved in with him, which was really difficult and he was so ill I kept thinking he was about to die.

He then went abroad and returned to the UK with legionnaire’s disease after another bender. It was at this point I couldn’t take being his live-in carer any more. I saved his life by calling the emergency doctor then moved out when he was admitted to hospital. I was completely traumatised by seeing him in that state- doubly incontinent and barely able to breathe, but still smoking and drinking. I distanced myself from him whilst I recovered.

He has never forgiven me for ‘abandoning’ him at this point. I know whatever I do will never be enough for him. He’s getting worse all the time, so he’s frequently nasty and impossible to reason with.

I can’t cope with being in contact with him because it upsets me too much and I don’t even want to try any more.

I just want to sever all ties and get on with living my own life.

Liz

You are not alone

Remember the Six "C"s

I didn’t cause it
I can’t control it
I can’t cure it
I can take care of myself
I can communicate my feelings
I can make healthy choices

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