i feel alone all the time




my dad has a drinking addiction and my mum recently has chose to ignore it or refuse to believe it anymore and my brother is at uni so its made it extremely difficult for me to process anything. before when my mum did recognise my dads drinking i never talked to her about it or how it makes me feel but still her wanting to do something about it made me feel less alone but now i think shes given up trying causing me to feel isolated. i cant tell my friends about it either. i want to. but i cant. ive complained to some of my friends before about his drinking but have never went into detail about how it makes me feel or anything and when ive told them what i have they never knew what to say so i havent done it since that because i dont want to burden them with it or make them feel uncomfortable which i think i would if i told them about it again. it makes me feel like crying that theres no one in my life i can talk to about it. everyone always says talk to your teachers about it or someone in school you trust but when your older its hard to feel like you can let the barrier down to let someone in to talk to them because when your older its like you shoulnt be feeling all these emotions that you are even though when you were a child none of the said emotions were fixed or dealt with properly. its tiring having to put a happy face on every day knowing that when you go home your dad is most likely drinking away the night again even tjough he promised to stop. its tiring keeping all the stress of everything bubbled up inside you without letting it out every once and a while. does anyone relate to this specifically about the part of telling your teachers when you feel like your too old to be feeling this way if so please tell me what you done to overcome it or to reach out to yoyr friends/teacher/etc. i really need to know because its getting worse in my head

  • listener

    Hi tayswizzie13,

    I'm so sorry to hear what you're going through. It sounds incredibly isolating because you don't feel like you can talk to anyone. Please know that your feelings are valid and you are not alone. There is also always the helpline if you want to talk to someone, whether it's by call or email. There's no limit to how many times you can contact.

    - listener

    • here2help

      Hi tayswizzie13,

      It can be really hard to speak to others about our parent’s drinking. But you are never too old to speak to someone about it. You could talk to your doctor or a teacher at your school to see if there are any counselling options you could access so you can speak to someone about how your feeling. However you feel is ok, you don’t have to be strong all the time or tell yourself it shouldn’t bother you because you’re older now. Even as an adult it’s difficult to be a child of an alcoholic and many of us have had counselling so we could speak to others about how we feel. You can also contact the helpline at Nacoa to speak to someone who understands. Take good care of yourself.

      - Here2Help

    • louiserose

      Hi, I was in your exact position when I was a young teenager and I’m now 45 years old and still in the same position. It’s really not easy. Sometimes other people’s coping mechanisms (ie your mother) can unfortunately be very detrimental to your needs. I hope you have found someone to talk to. Reading your post was like looking at my younger self. X

  • coald

    Hi tayswizzie13,

    You are never too old to have to ask for help and I am pleased you have spent some time here on the message boards.

    You can always call the Nacoa helpline too.

    If you don't want to say the words out loud to somebody, have you considered emailing a trusted teacher or someone else - I always found writing things down easier as I could get things in the right order and explain how I was feeling better in writing.

    There are people you can talk to at Nacoa who understand, please know that you are not alone.

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