Please help – my partner is using cocaine..

Replies
2
Voices
3
Freshness
Followers

1

robinsoncrusoe2001

Hi everyone,
When my current partner and I started dating, I knew about her history with cocaine because she was honest about it, or I thought, having admitted it was all in the past. But over time, I found out there was more recent use, and a few days ago, I found some cocaine in her purse.
I haven’t confronted her about it directly yet but I admit that I am extremely worried and I just don’t know exactly what to do.
On the one side I’d like to confront her but I know she’s just going to lie about it. Also she’ll be upset that I went through her purse and while I admit I shouldn’t have, I had a hunch… and sadly.. i was proven right…
On the other side, I’m wondering if I should let it slide for now and check on her cocaine stash over time to see if there is use going on, but that sounds like a dumb idea because why would someone have some if not to use it?
To be honest, I am just lost and unsure what I should do next because I really care for her, but this sort of behavior frightens me and makes me feel very uncomfortable around her.
I appreciate any advice anyone has.
Thank you

  • listener

    Hi Robinson,

    I am very sorry to hear about that, it is completely understandable that you feel uncomfortable around her, especially because you feel like you cannot approach her about it without her lying.

    It is completely up to how comfortable you feel speaking to her about it regarding whether or not you should speak to her, perhaps if you did and made sure to avoid any phases or things that would make her feel worse or more guilty about it as it could make her become defensive or possibly more likely to lie about it. Making sure she knows that you are only asking her because you really care for her.

    By the sounds of it she is using it, however, if you did want to wait you could possibly get a larger picture of what is going on, what exactly is going on and how much.

    Is there anyone else close to you, you can speak to regarding it?
    Best regards,
    Listener

  • uniquemind

    Hi,

    It is understandable you are frightened with finding the cocaine in her purse. However, It is best to confront her in the best possible way you can. Ask her if she needs support with a usage of cocaine and take a note of local organisations which are mental health and substance misuse. Just pretending you have not seen anything will not only play on your mind but you may feel like you can play a significant part in her recovery.

    Please take care.

Leave a Reply

Recent topics

  • Exasperated Son
    Hi, not sure where to start and thinking I’ll need 1000+ pages to convey all that’s going on and how it’s making me feel. I’m…
  • Father starting to recover but it’s not enough
    My father has been an alcoholic most of my life and is finally starting to attempt recovery, but it feels like too little too late.…
  • Explaining alcoholism to children
    Hi there, I have a 5 year old and a 3.5 year old. Their dad is an alcoholic and is not in contact. I have…
  • Endless cycle
    I genuinely dont see how my mum will ever get sober, today started off ok and then we went out to lunch, she said she…
  • Like a ton of bricks
    Hey everyone, I'm around the five month mark of no contact with my mum. All week I've felt so tearful and exhausted on the brink…

Recent replies

  • Hey, I'm really sorry to hear what’s been going on with your dad, and I’m so sorry for the loss of your mum. That must…
    hopeyhope1 on Exasperated Son
  • Thank you for sharing. You are definitely in the right place! As a fellow COA, with a Dad who destroyed his life with drink, I…
    catswithbells on Exasperated Son
  • How are you katy996? I read your post and felt so sad about your need for a friendly shoulder to lean on which was rejected…
    arvide on Like a ton of bricks
  • Hi thebigdipper, That's understandable why you think and feel that way, on the one hand it's good that your dad is seemingly attempting a recovery…
    listener on Father starting to recover but it’s not enough
  • Hi, I don't have any specific advice as to how to explain their dad's alcoholism to your children but I wanted to say that it's…
    catswithbells on Explaining alcoholism to children

Keep in touch

To find out more about our events and activities, subscribe to our mailing list

We use Mailchimp as our marketing platform. By subscribing, you acknowledge that your information will be transferred to Mailchimp for processing. Learn more about Mailchimp’s privacy practices.