Mind the gap
There was a silence filled with clanging feelings of humiliation and doubt and fear.
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There was a silence filled with clanging feelings of humiliation and doubt and fear.
But you will keep the secret to yourself that isn’t even a secret.. You don’t talk about it, you don’t talk about yourself, you don’t talk about your family, you keep your hopes and dreams to yourself but you don’t know why.
I am haunted by the idea that the telling of these dark truths is an unwarranted betrayal of my mother.
The fight to stay sane is sometimes so difficult there were, and are, times when I wonder if it was all worth it.
I had three daddies. ‘Nice daddy’, ‘funny daddy’ who was just slightly drunk, and then of course ‘nasty daddy’.
Dad drank despite how well I behaved.
I want us to be a close and strong family. Please try – I’ve never wanted anything more than this.
“I love/hate you”, “I’m proud of you” / “ What the hell are you doing with your life?
What I don’t ever do though is say out loud, mum you’re drinking too much, have you thought about stopping.
The shame when your father turns up drunk to your school prize giving where you are getting a prize.
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