Mum’s 70th birthday
I cannot accept your drinking any more, but live in the hope that you will stop.
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I cannot accept your drinking any more, but live in the hope that you will stop.
Hopefully you will read and possibly reread what I have put down.
I hope mum, that you won’t be angry or upset with me sharing this.
If it’s only a tiny flicker, it is there and we can find something good in the most awful of happenings.
Even in recovery family life is fraught with tension.
We would get more anxious; more edgy; more afraid, and school was closed.
She is like the poem “When she was good, she was very, very good. But when she was bad she was wicked”.
The haunting feeling of inadequacy that visits me daily is a reminder that some things take an age to heal.
I was left to pick up my brothers and sisters as she was asleep drunk. We would end up locked out until she woke up.
I never blamed myself for his drinking, but I always wondered how different my life would be if he didn’t drink.
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