I just read the letter “Two Mothers” and couldn’t believe my eyes
She is like the poem “When she was good, she was very, very good. But when she was bad she was wicked”.
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She is like the poem “When she was good, she was very, very good. But when she was bad she was wicked”.
The haunting feeling of inadequacy that visits me daily is a reminder that some things take an age to heal.
I was left to pick up my brothers and sisters as she was asleep drunk. We would end up locked out until she woke up.
I never blamed myself for his drinking, but I always wondered how different my life would be if he didn’t drink.
Sometimes I feel relief that she is gone, relief that the merry go round I was on has finally stopped and will never start again. Guilt is the main emotion that has accompanied this relief
Just to hear about the disease in a non-judgmental way and to be heard can end years of isolation and be profoundly healing.
I feel so different to other people and compare myself to my work colleagues who had a normal upbringing.
The point I want to make is that I don’t blame my dad anymore – he was ill – alcoholism is an illness.
It was horrible. When she used to get up in the morning she acted as if nothing was wrong.
I still suffer to this day, I suffer from the shame, I suffer thinking it’s something I have done, it will not go away, the feeling that I was and am worthless, will stay with me for the rest of my life.
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