I don’t remember a lot about my childhood apart from being completely alone
It was not until I went to the counsellor did I realise my behaviour during my adult life had come from my childhood.
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It was not until I went to the counsellor did I realise my behaviour during my adult life had come from my childhood.
Even in recovery family life is fraught with tension.
I never blamed myself for his drinking, but I always wondered how different my life would be if he didn’t drink.
Sometimes I feel relief that she is gone, relief that the merry go round I was on has finally stopped and will never start again. Guilt is the main emotion that has accompanied this relief
I feel so different to other people and compare myself to my work colleagues who had a normal upbringing.
To the world outside everything was fine, a normal middle class family.
I deal now with the ‘who I am’, and I know I am a strong person but more importantly I know life can be good for me again.
It was the first time I really knew what was wrong with me. For years I had been drinking just to exist but had always justified it as something I deserved.
I look forward to finding ‘me’; the woman I was meant to be; to being affirmed in my journey. I didn’t know what I was looking for, and had almost given up. Now I know; it’s me!
“Don’t trust, don’t talk, don’t feel,” these are the rules of a dysfunctional family.
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