My reactions are so different to others and I feel very self-conscious about it
I feel so different to other people and compare myself to my work colleagues who had a normal upbringing.
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Home Isolated with the family secret Page 12
I feel so different to other people and compare myself to my work colleagues who had a normal upbringing.
I had never been aware of what was wrong with her. I had had no one to guide me or to tell me that it was not my problem or that she had one.
I still suffer to this day, I suffer from the shame, I suffer thinking it’s something I have done, it will not go away, the feeling that I was and am worthless, will stay with me for the rest of my life.
To the world outside everything was fine, a normal middle class family.
To anyone that has gone through a similar thing I would like to say: things get better, and don’t be afraid to ask for help.
“Don’t trust, don’t talk, don’t feel,” these are the rules of a dysfunctional family.
I wanted people to understand, to know what I was going through, but no one understands unless they’ve experienced it themselves and I was too messed up to let people get close.
I have had the courage to heal the sickness inside me. To rid myself of the shame and blame and guilt that was never mine anyway.
There was a silence filled with clanging feelings of humiliation and doubt and fear.
It’s vital that we take away the shame from the illness of alcoholism, so that people aren’t frightened to come forward and ask for help.
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