My reactions are so different to others and I feel very self-conscious about it
I feel so different to other people and compare myself to my work colleagues who had a normal upbringing.
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I feel so different to other people and compare myself to my work colleagues who had a normal upbringing.
The point I want to make is that I don’t blame my dad anymore – he was ill – alcoholism is an illness.
It was horrible. When she used to get up in the morning she acted as if nothing was wrong.
I had never been aware of what was wrong with her. I had had no one to guide me or to tell me that it was not my problem or that she had one.
I still suffer to this day, I suffer from the shame, I suffer thinking it’s something I have done, it will not go away, the feeling that I was and am worthless, will stay with me for the rest of my life.
I will never forget my past and what’s happened in my life. I just try and believe my mum and dad are at peace now and in a better place.
To the world outside everything was fine, a normal middle class family.
I deal now with the ‘who I am’, and I know I am a strong person but more importantly I know life can be good for me again.
To anyone that has gone through a similar thing I would like to say: things get better, and don’t be afraid to ask for help.
It was the first time I really knew what was wrong with me. For years I had been drinking just to exist but had always justified it as something I deserved.
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